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mary crowell - what's the dm gonna do? lyrics

[verse 1]
i’ll have some coffee—then i’ll drink more of the same
the mighty bitey bean will save my game
it may be black or maybe with cream
i’ll need to change the sorcerer’s dream
the clеric has the flu today, the halfling’s gone away
[chorus]
what’s thе dm gonna do when half the players show?
“sure i guess it’s fine,” they say
but if you really want to know
it’s gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
i stayed up all night to make this game right
and here’s the thing: i’m gonna try (i will try, i’m gonna try)
i’m gonna try (i will try, i’m gonna try)
i’m gonna try (i will try, i’m gonna try)

[verse 2]
i’ll have some coffee, then i’ll know just what to do
the mighty bitey bean is adventure’s bestest brew
i’d drink it cold though then it tastes vile
we replaced the druid and her strong crocodile
with this tame npc that i just named lyle
when did planning games become such a trial?
the no+show rogue has all their cash
my plot line’s in the trash

[chorus]
what’s the dm gonna do when half the players show?
“sure i guess it’s fine,” they say
but if you really want to know
it’s gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
i stayed up all night to make this game right
and here’s the thing: i’m gonna try (i’m gonna try, i’m gonna try)
i’m gonna try (i’m gonna try, i’m gonna try)
i’m gonna try (i’m gonna try, i’m gonna try)
[verse 3]
i’ll have some coffee, then i’ll drink and drink some more
the mighty bitey bean will remind me what the dice are for
the fighter will be fighting a duel
the bard can heal, so i will be cruel
the mage can skype our session from school
she’s my kid so that might make it cool
the ranger has a thing at eight, it’s probably a date

[outro]
what’s the dm gonna do when half the players show?
“sure i guess it’s fine,” they say
but if you really want to know
it’s gonna need a rewrite (tadadada, tadadada)
it’s gonna need a rewrite (tadadada, tadadada)
it’s gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
i stayed up all night to make this game right
and here’s the thing: they’re gonna die!

- mary crowell lyrics

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