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matreah – disembodied lyrics

[verse 1]
those flowers in your hair
the power in your tongue
ideas would form and jump and fly into the sun
changes in your mood as subtle as a loaded gun
a vivid awareness for all the evil you had done
a phony blindness to all the good that you could do
yet the flowers in your hair would blossom as they grew and grew
you head became a garden, acting like you never knew
your artistry so vibrant, captivate me like a fool
uh, capture me and form a prison
the bars were made of words, another added to my sentence
and no matter how convincing, regardless of repentance
i’ll never make it up to you. how embarr-ssing my penance
but i swear that i remember
i’ll rip apart my brain until my consciousness dismembers
yeah, i swear that i remember
i’ll rip apart my brain until my consciousness dismembers
yeah, i swear that i remember
i’ll rip apart my brain until my consciousness dismembers
i’ll submit to the pain. i know i f-cked up that december
but know i’m praying that someday, you may get better
i’ve got nothing but love ’cause that’s what you taught me-
that every person is beautiful past their bodies
and that the world is a gift that we got for nothing
and we should cherish the breeze, and the trees, and sunbeams
and baby, even in ruins, your mind is something
and i simply can’t help but note that it’s lovely
and if i’m here being honest, i miss your company
i’ll never find anything that could be as comforting
i treated you like a cure for why i was struggling
i ruined something so pure, a toxic encomp-ssing
and now, i feel no one ever could fall in love with me
now, i feel no one ever could fall in love with me
i’m f-cking evil. i hate it. what’s f-cking up with me?
i’m f-cking evil. i hate it. what’s f-cking up with me?
i’m f-cking evil. i hate it. what’s f-cking up with me?
i’m f-cking evil. i hate it. what’s f-cking up with me?

[verse 2]
and brother, i f-cking ditched you
it’s been some weeks, and i’m weak, and i f-cking miss you
wiped the tears off my cheek when they start to leak, too
now, every day’s f-cking bleak ’cause i didn’t mean to
you were comfort and bliss when i slashed my wrists, and
the only thing keeping drugs out my system
now, every hour of sleep is terror and dreams of you
although i never get much, don’t know what i mean to you
and plus, you’ve got your own thing, i feel i’m impeding you
although, i know you too well, and it’s not a thing to you
still recall mama screaming, and i would cling to you
and though we’d argue and fight, i tried not to swing at you
rather hop on my back, kick like a machine at you
if the kitchen’s pristine, then we know the person that cleaned was you
and when i f-cked up, you called it, wouldn’t agree with you
though every word of advice you would give was meaningful
you’re my only definition of love
so i’mma sing to you until i lift my wings up above
and though you’re family, regardless that we share the same blood
you’re something more, you’re something special, never knew what it was
just that it’s beautiful, you’re everything i’ll ever admire and more
sever my wire and cord, persistent, forever keep plugging
you’re something special. and although i don’t know what it was
it’s something beautiful- my only idea of love

- matreah lyrics

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