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maxi k.d. – xp! lyrics

[hook: maxi k.d.]
walking through that road, the f+cking broken tree still haunting me
glass shattered on the road reflecting what she saw in me
the most beautiful things in life are often the weakest
but i still wish i could see her this weekend

whenever walking through that road, the f+cking memories keep haunting me
feeling like goodbye is the h+llo that always follows me
the most beautiful things in life are often the weakest
but i still wish i could see her this weekend

[verse 1: dysper.]
trippеd over a felwort and fell in lovе with impact
she fell in love with “we” while he felt uncivil with that
he became a felon and felt a kick in heart rate
she felt like she needed “we” less than “they” needed “our” sp+ce
she flew solo and fled. that was that, and we made it that/
so when another she wanted me to flense the whales, i hated that/
‘cause soon we’ll all be 23, which is about some 17
too many years beyond the age where we denounce a pedigree
over nonessential beef
so let’s be mature then
the felworts still in bloom cause everybody’s still a virgin (i think…)
useless memories will burn into the smoke of drama queens perfume
but you are not a drama queen and my love is not yours to pursue

[verse 2: maxi k.d.]
you and i are trapped in different
technically the trap’s been lifted
they say that i should’ve forgotten and keep the memory distant
but how am i ‘posed to forget when i’m in a cage from an instant?
now i got visions of me dying, now what you say to that?
and i wish that it was me instead of her, and that’s the place i’m at
f+cking crying in this place i’m at
triggers getting tapped and that’s a thing i have to face at last
visualizing life as a racing track
seeing who will die first
seeing who will see the f+cking light first
but maybe i am paranoid
and i’m stuck in all this paranoia
so i’m putting all my feels in when i play the joint

[verse 3: ilrell]
smallest percentage, born with advantage
still not enough to pay the cost of dependence
demons, ain’t fought em with xanax
but my monitor can’t be far from it, can it?
still lucky enough to mistake bondage for bandage
at least comparatively, ain’t much i’ve lost that i cherish
i might not get to feel this way cuz it does not fit the narrative
already standing where millions would k!ll a baby to be
i wasn’t grateful for sh+t til i wasn’t grateful for me
before you ask, it’s not my pain i’m comparing like they’ve advised me against
it’s the threshold, the seed of whatever lies deep within
my lack of action speaks louder than my mind can defend
f+ck consolations, that’s exactly how the cycle don’t end
cuz i’m complacent
so if their faith is blind, blind me to their faith then
now displaying change is submission, pride+ese translation
left too impressive an impression, can i really blame them?
f+ck the promises
they done ate a million, never seen em vomit one
gave solutions even when the “pseudo” was in front of em
took what favored me to a degree, but now i’m honest
still no answers, yet n0body’s ever told me i don’t got it
now i dread the future and it’s h+ll to bear
i take this as a retribution, and i’m ill+prepared
self aware, left myself to wear on sh+t only myself would care
but when the smoke settles its like the feeling was never there
so tell me, is it pain enough? tell me, have i paid enough?
do i get to tell the tale, ask them after “ain’t it tough?”
is my lack of crack apparatus and a stainless tucked
not as plain to most, there ain’t a slope my sheltered ass can touch
maybe need encouragement, but that’s already vain as f+ck
tell me what’s a blank slate, you watched me dry the paint and such
don’t tell me i’m great enough, i couldn’t give a grain of f+cks
cuz even if i ain’t, it’s still myself wanna train to love

- maxi k d lyrics

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