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mia stegner – scribbles – demo lyrics

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i ponder the root of the pain in my chest
i ponder whether i think that i know me best
i’d be fonder of the body i live in, if it didn’t always beg me to rest
i’d be fonder of the world that i live in, if it didn’t feel so much like a test

i question my mouth when i speak
i wonder if everything’s bleak
i try to breathe deep as i try to interrogate my favorite day of the week
as i try to decide which feelings are new, and which ones are antique

and i finally take a step back
to see what i’ve done with my time
but i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
and none of it rhymes

in the drawers of my mind, remnants of mountains i’ve hiked
do i want to be kind? or do i just want to be liked?

for every thing i choose to say, a hundred more are on their way
for every thing that’s on its way, a thousand more for another day

i’ll sort through the layers, but they tend to collapse at my touch
i’ll sort through the rubble, surely there can’t be too much
i have the tools to dig; i learned to breathe the dirt
i can’t be bothered to come up for air
on days when i don’t care if breathing hurts

smothered by my own stare
mothered by an instinct to care
surrounded by dots, that beg to be collected

i’ll try to get to the bottom of just one pair
then i’ll be surprised when i get stuck there
surrounded by dots, that beg to be connected

till the dots disappear and they move and they fill up my eyes
until i have to lie down with only myself to advise

when i finally take a step back
to see what i’ve done with my time
i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
and none of it rhymes

you’d think from rock bottom, at least you’d be forced to look up
but i stare at my feet on the cold rocky ground
and i don’t make a sound while the wheels in my head turn around
i’d like to think that each breakthrough will loosen things up
what if all of the pieces of the walls, that used to confine
are even more slippery to climb

i finally take a step back
to see what i’ve done with my time
but i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
and none of it rhymes

i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
i only see scribbles
and none of it rhymes

- mia stegner lyrics

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