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minivan helsing – thisistheworstsongi’veevermadeandit’saboutastrology lyrics

eyy
what the f+ck
[some kind of creepy child laughing. that’s the producer tag i think]
i’ve finally graduated into making music that isn’t only objectively bad, but doesn’t even sound f+cking good
(ey good for you buddy hahahahaha)
eyy
i’m not like other girls
i’m a guy
(aw)
what the f+ck
(that’s f+cking cute)
ey
(uwu)
do as much astrology as you f+cking want who gives a f+ck
i mean it’s stars
it’s more real than god
(ahh)
imma see the moon and sh+t before i’m gone
(yuhh)
point out religion if someone’s getting all snide
at least (i will seduce the pope) f+cking astrology never caused a f+cking genocide
(b+tch)

get over here i’m tryna do unethical medical experiments
(snip snip snip ahah)
your skin’s so soft
i got a special knife for piercing it
oh that’s a nice picture it’s going on my dartboard
i’m running from my feelings and they’ve got me doing parkour
it’s hardcore
like doctor phil i’m making f+ckers fight
and that’s a thumbs down
so you gotta end his life
and that’s on f+cking sight
(b+tch)
i curse a lot when i play games and rap
and then act like a chap
straight outta the sand trap
[unintelligible british]
imma hit a f+cking b+st+rd with a nine iron
now he’s in the drier
i lit a match wrong and now my nose hair’s on fire
i’m not a liar
[screaming]
holy sh+t my sense of smell is in pain
[screaming]
this is actually the worst f+cking song i’ve ever made
and it’s about astrology
i’m a libra what the f+ck does that mean
(what is it. what does it+ what does this mean?)
is it like a book cuz that’s what the spanish would imply to me
like blimey
(whaa)
when i was young i wanted to mummify my family hamster
i feel like that prolly should’ve been some kind of red flag
(i need therapyyy)
come and k!ll me that’s just one more dead f+g
and that’s more or less legal in several countries
i’m constantly feeling jet lagged
put your f+cking head back
choke on your own t++th
you want beef
i want your neck cracked

i’m not f+cking h0m+phobic i wanna kiss dudes
and girls too
(just to+ just to be f+cking clear)
and any number of gradations between those
i’ll stomp your f+cking head
i mean it’s f+cking lights out
i’ll make you doze
it might be over for you but who knows
i be in my bas+m+nt
i’m going apesh+t
i’m crazy f+cked up
off paint fumes
we’ve been remodeling
(like all the time)
i lit the main fuse
choke me like you
f+ck. no. what the f+ck. no. that’s definitely not my song
(corpse is a s+xy motherf+cker)

catch me in the sticks
with the motherf+cking sticks
i’ll hit you with my tractor
i’m not mister nice guy
i’ll k!ll you and eat you
y’all chickens like a pot pie
i got twelve guns
one for each person in my town
(ain’t that the truth)
riding in my tractor only way i get around
(bless his heart)
okay what the f+ck was that bruh

we’re going hick hop
your shawty makes my d+ck hop
your best friend makes my f+cking
okay
no
f+ck
okay i swear to god we’re not doing d+ck talk i swear to god
(i swore an oath, once on a time)
atheists be like ‘i swear to science’
(ey i’m just talking for my f+cking adlibs)
why do jocky straight dudes act like they’re g+y for each other
like how did that ever f+cking catch on
(eyy)
maybe i’m just mad they’re not acting like they’re g+y for me
(probably. that’s probably what it f+cking is)
hahah
eyy
yuh
alright we’re doing a freestyle for however much left there is
oh there’s not any left
well that’s f+cking good cuz i can’t freestyle for f+cking shi+

- minivan helsing lyrics

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