mishelb – childhood lyrics
[verse]
yeah, ay
i think it ages back to the days when i was a little kiddo
you’d probably think i’d be kidding
but i wore my short and sandles and never be overthinking
back when i was still naive and when nothing could spoil my living
best was going out the evening and returning to a safe and loving house that i never thought could be near the end of my road
never thought that i could ever end up in the bath tub
sitting, questioning how did i turn to what i’ve become
never thought the answer could lie in what’s already gone
i’ve been living in the present
trying not to think about the damage that was done to me throughout the years i’ve lived out in my cave and
i never got the courage to confront my inner menace
and it has been horrendous to watch it develop to the levels that it has done
never wanted anything like this, just to have fun
never wanted this kind of perception but i have gone
too far already
no place for regrets, though life is heavy
gotta get it together, you don’t live one too many times
i know it’s just the rhymes
but understand that the story i’m telling is about life
it’s got high and lows and it’s like the tide
and it begins back then, when we’re still in dipes
it begins at the time when we begin to comprehend what’s around us
we go to kindergarten to learn that are parents discard us
ever since we are kids we live with only our shadows
everyone leaves, everyone dies
how do you teach a kid that his parents have to leave to keep him alive
how do you solace them when you couldn’t go to the park
you buy them ice cream and then you’re just dropping them off
no wonder half of us have abandonment issues
and the others don’t trust under any conditions
some of us learn that they are the most loved
while the others are learning that their parents got no time for them
how do you deal with such a problem?
putting the bias on the outcasts among them
don’t wrong them
don’t tell ’em that something they’re doing is bad
just because you know the prejudice ’cause it’s really sad
and just the fact that you were raised this way don’t mean you have to teach it to your children
it’s not that plain and simple
we all are humans and need tuition
but we don’t need to be taught what is our intuition
we can’t be taught that we need to be suppressing our feelings
if we can’t bear it, don’t know how then you suppose us to carry on
you will just bury us
feelings are a barrier but they’d be saving ya
if you feel trapped inside, you feel alone like you should’ve died remember there’s a better life just waiting to be dug up and lived in pride
just hold strong for now, don’t let these kind of things break you down
there is so much in the world waiting to be found
get up from the ground and just look around
you’re surrounded by so many people who love you for just who you are and won’t ask for a thing in return when you drown and don’t need any favors for helping you out ’cause they’re just there for you not for stealing your crown
i know that right now it doesn’t seem promising
and it feels like everything around you is collapsing
you’re thinking: “why me?” and no answer is following
but i can tell you that none of it’s your fault, your past’s repercussions affected your mental form, what’s been decided for you’s eating your soul and it’s going back to your childhood and closing in on it without any warning, it should’ve been warm and it ended up storming, it’s full of the origins to all your problems and even if you don’t entirely know it, i promise that that’s where they are ’cause they’re showing the signs that are needed to locate the problem, just let me explain myself fully and thoroughly
ocd, depression, anxiety and emotional suppression
all of them come from somewhere in the past, either something we’ve done or the way we’ve been taught
you see, all of them relate to the past and the present
not the future though, so, you still got time to prevent
it’s up for you to decide whether you’re going for recovery or resentment
don’t let the past affect the way your future is spent then
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