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monty python - bruces' philosophers song lyrics

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immanuel kant was a real p-ssant
who was very rarely stable

heidegger, heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table

david hume could out-consume
wilhelm freidrich hegel

and wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as schlegel

there’s nothing nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raising of the wrist
socrates, himself, was permanently p-ssed

john stuart mill, of his own free will
on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

plato, they say, could stick it away
half a crate of whiskey every day

aristotle, aristotle was a b-gg-r for the bottle
and hobbes was fond of his dram

and rene descartes was a drunken fart
“i drink, therefore i am.”

yes, socrates himself is particularly missed
a lovely little thinker, but a b-gg-r when he’s p-ssed

- monty python lyrics

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