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monty python - every sperm is sacred (monty python sings) lyrics

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dad:
there are jews in the world
there are buddhists
there are hindus and mormons, and then
there are those that follow mohammad, but
i’ve never been one of them

i’m a roman catholic
and have been since before i was born
and the one thing they say about catholics is:
they’ll take you as soon as you’re warm

you don’t have to be a six-footer
you don’t have to have a great brain
you don’t have to have any clothes on. you’re
a catholic the moment dad came

because

every sperm is sacred
every sperm is great
if a sperm is wasted
god gets quite irate

children:
every sperm is sacred
every sperm is great
if a sperm is wasted
god gets quite irate

girl:
let the heathen spill theirs
on the dusty ground
god shall make them pay for
each sperm that can’t be found

children:
every sperm is wanted
every sperm is good
every sperm is needed
in your neighbourhood

mum:
hindu, taoist, mormon
spill theirs just anywhere
but god loves those who treat their
s-m-n with more care

men:
every sperm is sacred
every sperm is great
women:
if a sperm is wasted,…
children:
…god gets quite irate

priest:
every sperm is sacred
bride and groom:
every sperm is good
nannies:
every sperm is needed…
cardinals:
…in your neighbourhood!

children:
every sperm is useful
every sperm is fine
funeral cortege:
god needs everybody’s:
mourner #1:
mine…
mourner #2:
and mine…
corpse:
and mine!

nuns:
let the pagan spill theirs
o’er mountain, hill, and plain
holy statues:
god shall strike them down for
each sperm that’s spilt in vain

everyone:
every sperm is sacred
every sperm is good
every sperm is needed
in your neighbourhood
every sperm is sacred
every sperm is great
if a sperm is wasted
god gets quite irate

- monty python lyrics

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