mr. master – inside baseball lyrics
[intro: mr. master]
flo milli sh+t
ya got your whole political ideology figured out
but you can’t decide on a major, okay
grand opening, grand closing
matamoney
if you want somethin’ done right
[verse: mr. master]
well, f+ck my mom and call me oedipus
you are the perfect exhibit a for eugenicists
sl+tever you do, do not stop me if you’ve heard this one
what’s at stake is personhood
and an all+expense+incurred romp through the simulacrum
omnischiveous. bottom out the bullion vault
to get court seating at the dead horse beating, i’m sick of it
soundcloud one+downsmanship
is stealing candy from a barrеl o’ fish
i’d rather drizzle ultra on the amеrica split
if you give a browser cookies
lap reserved for best new starlet tushy
boanthropy fast travelin’ me to bowling green
rampant ageusia mutes cassandra’s cuisine
could you rap a little bit slower?
i don’t think i understand what you mean
you bet your taut little ass, i’m jazzed
rookies runnin’ time trials with the phantom of the ultra past
starry+eyed ingenues fawn over
the lone straight man in the intermediate tap class
let’s see what sm+tty definition i can add to pizzazz
as bari weiss resigns from the times
sqrd gets your millenium problem solved
and your prize money declined
put ten fingers down if you’ve self+actualized
now take your two open palms
and give a chief executive officer’s face a double high five
rhythm and flow is not a netflix show
they are biological psychological optimal zones
felt exclusively in bones
similarly, ‘brain’ and ‘brawn’ are not diametrically opposed
it’s just no one’s had the chops
to transmog an identity that’s both
i woulda stopped with the jokes
if that were all, folks. far from it
i haven’t even brought up
the bombs i planted at the davos summit
i stuck a tiktok dance under a box propped up with a stick
snagged a screenager, and taught her ap lit
scholarly sh+t
no dollar sign ss in this spelling of scholarship
scholasticism’s not just book fairs for kindergarten kids
it’s that nerd from high school
crafting a school of thought that’s entirely his
and using it to outf+ck johnny sins
wait, you’re not media literate?
even a little bit?
no seriously, ditch the schtick
this is not to be made mischief with
i did not boston tea party nootropics in the water main for this
the digital jittering’s a symptom of busdriver idolatry
the rest is just industry standard psychopathy
hashtag ad. n0bilified.com is the dumbest
most history+shredding c+ckstroke i have ever seen
i would never take high art and lethally inject it with me
ultra doesn’t count
reactionary flights via seat of my pants airlines
crosshairs lockedon the kaizo problem of consciousness
with a bonus tooth nail battle with postprandial somnolence
bone, satellite, monolith
alliance of the smart adults?
oh no wait, it says science of the cargo cults
sorry, my eyesight’s mulched
if she’s the secretary of the press
why isn’t kayleigh answering my texts?
i just want an off+the+record interview
and s+x
crib death
if you can’t cha cha real smooth at my world’s worst
you can’t everybody clap your hands at my pete best
houghton mifflin harcourt reject
told me not nearly enough slot machines
and too much slavoj zizek
and it’s all skater til it’s gator
and you plant your face in the papers
fakie 180 to backside epicly later’d
sprayed, prayed, and hit paydirt
graduated from design ethics to rock throwing
christened by the zeitgeist, the patron saint of not knowing
whenever i hear new rap, it just makes me want new me
even newer nerdcore makes you seethe at who you were before
automatic irreversible universal downgrade
skip the path; get this cow paved
i took it upon myself to
shoulder the commotion like a ghetto blaster
as a result, the panacea has surfaced
sopping with ectoplasm
inforecastable by the most sophisticated of projection strategum
as if there were any better justification to let me at ’em
your b+tch is a seventh+day adventist. i’m baffled
hired a stack of three boohbahs
in a trenchcoat as my legal counsel
crashed final cut pro crushin’ an estonian amateur
no clue about exposure or aperture
just “slower” and “faster” and moaning and “master.”
makin’ csikszentmihalyi proud. look
the chalice has a siphon in the center
to monitor frank+doddular greed
lehman brothers barnum and bailey
colostomy insolvency scheme
i listen to juicy in reverse so it ends with it all as a dream
chomped chains o’ bic cristal caps reminiscin’
when the starbucks was a kentucky fried chicken
scanning innuendo+less fingerprints. juvenescence
but even with this rigid rationale backin’ each movie reference
no brick’ll breaker this tourette’s tic toward stupid questions
i refuse to be welcome
bang. less funny haha
more chubby bunny glot stop, did ‘er wrong
kitty got caught in my cot, we merged
and now i got her in my palm like donkey kong
turn the bad place to my own personal marwencol. calm
i’m with sasha sagan in her father’s bas+m+nt
gettin’ cosmically acquainted
swamped with calumny allegations
before the product was even placed in
secretary huffs a fat sigh at the sight of my harlequinade+ness
wipes the whiteboard, and expos a goose egg under ‘days since.’
friendship ended with loop quantum;
now string theory is my best friend
lapped every rapper this side of the humanities
and thought, “y’know what? stem.”
carry enough grant to charm your meemaw out her depends
the weirdest of uhf’s i love the 2010s misleading men
holy antifragility! universal music group
just drafted larry nassar to their gymnast team!
all points bulletin on a moves crowd k!ller
dementia+stricken old+heads like, “that sounds familiar.”
yeah, and that mad lib blank you fill should wow you bigger
these fifty+sumn songs could’ve easily been
fifty+sumn bans from twitter
thank god for no phones allowed at family dinner
ugly cry the clown make+up off and whaddya got left?
the loss of pre+ and gain of post+me post+capital gazette
flashin’ a press pass is now flagged as a national threat
if bein’ right is wrong, then i don’t wanna be…
wait, gimme a sec…
yes, i’m doing chisanbop! what do you expect?!
for me to solve the trolley problem in my head?!?
i’m not eratosthenes!
i send sacheen littlefeather to pick up my postmates
too busy losing staring contests with socialblade
enhance performance thanks to secaucus slo+mo replays
fine+tooth each frame zapruder+like
only to jackpot the ‘ref you suck’ sweepstakes. loot for life
quit hangin’ turkey handprints with magnets on the d+mn fridge!
you’re blockin’ the touchscreen tablet
and overpraising your grandkids
practicin’ taisuke criticals on corrugated fiberboard
greater than buryin’ sioux under pine ridge gore
chinese whispers gets a pipe dream fissured
zaps fine wine into cheap liquor
high beam ticket slap from your
resident regionally accredited meme stickler
taps on my axe soundtracks alan’s ramz in meredith’s lats
jacid azz as a fatter of mact
your boss has got a feet kink he’s hidin’
barista’s got a lush egg inside her. me?
i got a backyard hadron collider. weasel+free
fbi confirmed none yankee whiter
streams never me, less you wanna rehash a christchurch
crystal capisce
keep it a stack, you have gotta be conked
if you’re not clockin’ this tact
i would say it’s like the wright brothers flight
if it weren’t more like the prototypes they scr+pped
history cctv snapped in the act
with its ankles dragging its pants
i thought this was a party. let’s dance
with a web as wide as the world
you think we’d all be weinsteins
rather than p+wns in a queensrÿchean mindcrime
stretch goal reached of seeing greenland unfreeze in my lifetime
keep this up and all baseball will be inside
that’s a headstart feet behind
get smart’s evil twin got the d’agapayeff cracked
and found an orange peep fielding bribes
shadowban the bets;
mod chermayeff, geismar, and haviv
save the summer like i save all my skips in the impossible quease
zack morris clock stop means dame time twice daily
airdrop beef bandages at the border to ice ice babies
neither pride nor joy of the old guard
whistle dismissal as i frolic past their homes in the boneyard
and never too shy to get that whistle blown hard
jaxi to the marx tribe. fasten your shoestrings
brief stay at the valley of the doll+eyed anime doujining
shudders. turns out the best white rapper is filipinx
the rest dig as much depth as a 3ds
oh, and that prejudice you possess?
would be a shame if…
high intensity interval training your bias didn’t change sh+t
rail the lil minx who lets that deal or no deal
twenty+four briefcase cl!ck, and left her
hobblin’ bowlegged to her ixnayed prince. give us a kiss
i would swab the deck with lin+manuel miranda
have tech do the devil dance
while i tell his sons there’s no santa
polly wanna pollyanna wrought with malapropaganda
spare the drama. bomb the stand+up
and to further swoggle up matters
my harvest moon walkthrough is in tatters
beesly holds pictures of
lamecore indie band shirts
and racehorse p+ssy pampers
gale+force winded cloudbursts
bad my geoguessr stats that much worse
in terms o’ hymen work, ti has got it literally backwards
fat cut of the black budget funding
an ultraviolent long knive night+light for the shadow government
buds, barbarians, and bumpkin countrymen
lend me your bigblueb+ttoned lips
this cinderella foam finger cling so snug, you must convict
good luck good night kegger
for every spoken word open mic ever
wanna be prince ea now?
get ate by prince in his smart cool era
round block waitlist w+nged coursera
now that’s what i call platform peril
same ecmo that nabbed cordero
endtroducing….. the one man million man marching band
shut+in dealin’ shutouts in these shootouts
with my non+dominant hand
fraud+way juke+sicals
give me concave goose pimples
half+court heave for all the cuban missiles
gunky tongues, and stage+bl++dy toothbrush bristles
darling, this r+wing has enough spitters
maybe next multiverse split+up
just emotional eat to phoebe bridgers till the ravages get us
well, look who’s getting argumentative
aren’t you precious? of all the lawsuits pendin’
you thought to settle this
bullet h+ll dodge adeptness pierce defenses
gen+eng miracle+ear infections
ultra stepped in as the vulgar stepdad of invention
willkommen. vanquishment. credits list
backpedal never ‘less the tour de france
forces pharcyde references
rotc in tenth, and since
stayed standing straight at attention
it’s alive and it’s hangry
meditate for a planck length
and tell me you don’t wanna
fill your f+nny pack with rocks
and belly flop in the yangtze
day sixteen+thousand eight+hundred thirty+nine not outed as bansky
monkey christ. rosie ’round the ring o’ latchkeys
thrice i been knighted to match each head of this hydra
band geek theatre kid nerd techie
virgin trekkie swirly wedgie messiah
sociopaths can’t all be bad if i’m one
life+size bratz doll tryna veruca salt me
this verrückt vault’ll do julie schwab+ly
buffed music to museology
proof of the ultruminatti as evolutionarily rooted in the human body
eureka’d the solution problem. workin’ hardly
command on charisma got the channel probosky
a la perched on the panasonic and bingin’ the ashley darcy
bootleggers, start your camcorders
it’s about to get fartsy
chateau’d on 140 bar street
where the would+be car thieves
instead crank call barkeeps
air quotes “with us or against us”
is brainyquotes “malarkey.”
i can simultaneously love your garden and hate your gardening
irregardless, flagrant one on harper hempel
my body’s the water temple
sharpening backed by barber o’ seville
grin dyed jaundice ‘cause inside jobs don’t cover dental
worth mentioning jill and gretel exchanging tips
on how to makeover the devil, solely to satisfy bechdel
anecdotally evidential; access iffily granted
metaphysical challenge aced
by the least dead dysentery patient
in the prairie wagon
fake understanding and empathy
for the sake of tearin’ her savage fenty
heather likes her venti frappes half+empty
and that’s meant to tempt me? wench please
i am a grown fps who don’t need no setpiece
score three thousand ammonium nitrate box tops
and ultra gets to be edgy
ktsing elbows with those who rent+seek
fundie+friendly. double triple in hands kissed
and babies shook across all constituencies
fordite medal for a lifetime not achieving anything
kinda talk reserved for walks through halls of both west wings
edicts fit for stone etchings
be be aggressive chants square at the choir
incendiary pants sported by a hordes o’learier heffer for hire
the carrot+topped third meyers
banana+green+crack+fueled aquascaping marathons were
banned from begetting this caliber o’ wherewithal
not since drakengard has a man’s lore spanned so far
takes no more than a principle cascade shuffle
to pull a dalio’s card
silly rapids district or give
waze map dotted with slattaclysmic indigences
pablo honey, i’m animal homesickness
wizzord wizzizard. wun’ no blizzard. pwned all the same
her post got one view
and she bought a number balloon
to usher in fame
bluejacket’s manual dog+eared every page
bronx cheer weapons+graded
results mark naught but sheer edge case
unweighted
fashion reins outta french braids
cavalry entrance
can you sense the childhood obsession
with rhythm heaven fever?
’cause i can’t
rainbow chute cherry+tops ejection from monster mutt
(patriotism unverified
until first mention of monster trucks.)
bottoms bottomlessly up
mallowed be the all+seeing icup
dolby sound deafening jams with sham science
how could a 21st sensory pox
yellow+light this orange a pilot?
knocks canvases so hustler
saatchi’d rush to frame the smock
blitzkrieg botch
stream glut rots your brain to mott’s
undo unlocked from a+hundred+and+one percent collection
of better left disconnected dots
sidestep the v+chip block bearing neutrality né brutality
for ages k thru 401k vanishing
popped a greensboro squat and ass+dialed caitlin flanagan
personality dialysis plug yank
all’s comfy and dry this side of the dunk tank
the exchange rate between decibels in a mustang engine
and ounces of mom and dad’s attention
must reach zimbabwean percentages
velocity finally terminal enough to match my knowledge bowl
she tried to torchlight my blunt and then i swallowed it whole
character actor, only the one though
joan from fun home now wears hoodies
and brokers subprime home loans
effective this moment are mandated inner+self explorings
coinkydincidentally
feeling like you’ve figured it all out
will now be officially boring
i paste michael brooks into citation machine
with that precise motive. h+ll
i’m entertaining wokeness
gone is the age of faultlessness
and the consequent j+n+l bell’s+palsied logic twists
honesty is now domestic policy
punishable by cream+sitting whip
even the blithest hype house ditz’ll commit
given the proper perverse incentive
and proper pulchritudinous nerd
to have a perverted friendship with
what a slip+up to surmise that intelligence
could be measured with beveled+edge sticks
i tell a standardized test to standardize this!
sweet transvestite, i’m cured!
mein führer, i can fame wh0re!
newman machine charged
and it’s been starvin’ to wire fraud jstor
count o’ straight jokes neck and neck
with social worker caseloads
naturalwhen whammy immunity games your game show
kawashima say alcohol still illegal for my brain
ralph up your thoughts and i’ll mussolini your train
truth f+dg+d, god struck, parried
and fouled that ball lightning with grease stains
lumbered encumbered for years
before denouncing all but keyframes
bold face. philippa soo
imagineerment squares more with
hairy who and them chicago cats
blind given laser sight so tunnel on the catch
they forgot the keep
risperdal nightmares skewer sleep
the future mr. kimberly cougar schmidt
moonlights at the b+tterbeer brewery
lite brites as a blunder year recovery blueprint scheme
jumper sail feathery. brick, but contact means two frees
chimerica runs on phooey
faucet catastrophe
j+14 tiger beat bidding fight night in my answering machine
competitive double dutch speed
b+tton mash through cutscenes
runt the rah+rah. holly your rhonda
with a holocron o’ baba ram dass
noxious splotch on this dodgy hodgepodge
ease off the c+stick
back in my false memory
wackness was treated with leeches
if not, bet this chestburster threat’ll
get him to pledge his allegiance
really caught nines once overin’
search party spoiled. this silver fork tongue snake oil’s
potent enough to foil the eight other potions, stud
hey schmachtenberger, my eyes are back here
dolphin tas o’ jack the ripper’s career
life raps weird
she’s crotch height nursin’ diamondback bites
cobra gulp the key and the kite
nijinsky tiptoe ‘tween s&p’s trip lights fantasmic
dripped in blingee gif chintz
l!ck fingertip tsss ravenous
this prank’s tanked, hasn’t it?
set ergonomics to tailbone owwy and we’re futurebound
squint your ears tight enough and
humiliation stereograms to a superpower
squint even tighter and
keith harings melt into turing patterns
toontask sorting sound last in my gag order
stormy daniels. porky’s playhouse
varsity blues bracket admission. top ticket
proportional divinity spotted in nautiluses
penned me in the naughty list. plot thickets
dollar store cognizance
consciousness bargain bins
everything must go+pocalypse
the only way out was threw overboard, off the ship
mission admonished
the theatrical release had far less greedo guilt on it
go don your memory joggers
and let’s blow this autobahn frogger contest
that’s a one hit crush by a broadway hunk
synchro wumbo jets
laughing mad at how exponentially untapped this potential gets
18th inning stretch interrupted by muncy center left
unfulfilled having lived and died sheck wes
reincarnated as intellect itselves
try the yarlung tsangpo cleft between wealths
subliminality so sl!ck, blink
and you’ll dictate deep web diving bells
hip+hop has found its jacob collier
and plowed its ground rules mounds
aussier to simulate his native chomskyverse
skyrocketing myopia, and i’m no anomaly
my blinders are just orange and put on by me
autodiderodactyl triceratopically
chicxulubian meteoricity+tinged eschatology
say wen+ dy wasserstein
corn beef turned carthage siege
zig stitches for quizlet snitches
no shortcuts to enrichment
pb’d dash+from+doorbell sprint
cinched me a seed in the
electoral collegiate laff+a+lympics
no durr, that lav’s pickin’ up
amplification is for nondiaphragmatic australopithec+nts
celebrate quotidianniversaries
with a nawlins second line first infantry
caesar key morse code blinked surreptitiously
sailor sworn to secrecy and cursed to crypt+keep
your bedroom pop album cover art looked better
plastered with the shutterstock watermark
audible sponsored the whole sum o’ your parts
contrast all the more stark juxt
with these scantily clad gantt charts
shopping list is the britannica, a blindfold, and darts
lucha libre saved face to unbreak my kayfabe
these unicorn dodos destined to go the way o’ kate spade
classic example of a data raid
wrong warp to erikson’s eighth stage
as ezscape play+by+plays
and summoning salt color commentates
gory, gory, al+fallujah
tangelo fig his melon eggplant
groundhog teenhood how recursive i excavate
this jörmungandr snake run for the skate ranch
deja vu lift as likely as listening to de la on apple music
stakes is antediluvian
speak h+llo panda and carry bamboo sticks
think faster than you’ve ever had to
drain+circling with the most generous calculation of salvage value
will too free for surrender to the pessimist glass of half+truth
will not free enough to stop ogling her neathage tattoo
no thank you
ultra’s cut from betsy ross cloth by devil dog claws
no surprisewith these fast food apple pies
my gut’s been churnin’
certain the fall of that wall in berlin was the world end
externalities threaten encampment of internment
an eternity of purposelessness
and the voice of the burgeoning curious
will never hoist further than murmurings
but the story of the people as person
the destination as journey
and the futile as worthy
is too robust to just die undeserving
i’m trying
and if you start trying now
it’s working
funkhouser
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