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mr. safety – stranger days lyrics

[verse 1: mr. safety]
i woke up in the morning and jumped out of my room
landed on a bush outside in my fruit+of+the+looms
i broke into my house and stole all my forks and spoons and
i stuffed them in my neighbor’s yard ‘cuz he would be home soon

i’m as quiet as a mountain goat, as smart as a bee
i’m as sneaky as an elephant that hides in a tree
and elephants and trees are something you’ll never see
so you’ll never know where i am until you smell my pee

when my neighbor came home, i jumped into his trash
i found a roll of duct tape, ripped the hair off my ass
i grabbed a paper plate and madе a cool hat
then i took the hair from my ass and made a mustachе

[chorus: mr. safety]
you may think i’m crazy but i have something to say
i may be a little psycho but i grew up that way
i was raised by river raccoons that chased me away
so trust me when i tell you that i’ve had stranger days
ceiling fans have tried to k!ll me but i’ve had stranger days
umbrellas make me nervous too but i’ve had stranger days
milk cartons are good for humping but i’ve had stranger days
and smpfilms.com says i’ve had stranger days

[interlude: mr. safety & mickey d.]
oh, oh, i’ve got ants on my t+st+cl+s
hey, hey you! get the f+ck out of my trash

[verse 2: mickey d.]
i’m sick of the sh+t, it’s getting on my nerves
can’t walk in the yard without stepping on the t+rds
so i got this fool p+ssing in my pool
don’t follow no rules but his hat is pretty cool
wait what the f+ck? is that my paper plate?
why the f+ck you wanna walk around wearing what i ate?
what’s up with all the spoons and forks?
you weren’t really raised by river raccoons you f+cking dork

yesterday you was eating all my f+cking grass
now today i catch you rolling all up in my f+cking trash
what the h+ll is wrong with you? did you fall outta bed?
bump your head? did you hear what i said? get up you ain’t dead
hey, is that my hammock on the roof?
you better get your ass up there and get it down
dude, now, no it ain’t staying, no i ain’t playing
say it again, what the f+ck is wrong with you? d+mn
sitting on the fence, walk in the pud
now tell me what’s the point of putting clothes in the mud?
you’re a sick motherf+ck
don’t even think about sticking my rake up in your b+tt
it’ll get stuck, don’t try it, i ain’t lying
you’ll be crying man, now where you going with my frying pan
you’re so obscene, your p+ss ain’t clean
you’re the weirdest motherf+cker my girlfriend’s ever seen

now when she comes over, you be scaring her off
when she’s trying to sunbathe, you be trying to pop her top off
it ain’t right, you gotta get a life
leave me the h+ll alone, where the h+ll did you get that trike?
i’ve had so many godd+mn problems since you moved to this place
but now you are my neighbor man and these are stranger days

[chorus: mickey d. & mr. safety]
stop eating my flowers! (these are stranger days)
get back here with my fish! (these are stranger days)
quit p+ssing in the godd+mn pool! (these are stranger days)
stop stealing my oranges! (these are stranger days)

[interlude: mr. safety & mickey d.]
oh, i love these oranges
i love to rub them against my b+lls
d+mn it man, those oranges are for eating!
muahahaha!
[verse 3: mr. safety & mickey d.]
i’m actually very classy, can i give you a tip
you can keep your toilet clean by not taking a sh+t
it does not work very well though ‘cuz your ass will explode
and i have not figured out how to contain the load

thanks for the tip man, but you’re still a dumbass (uh+huh)
all i can say is that i hope you can move fast (uh+huh)
‘cuz i’m about to let my big hungry dog loose (oh no)
run, there’s a tip you can use

i can run fast, i’m half+raccoon
but i have puppy dog milk+bone
i keep it in my underwear between my crack
i will feed it to your puppy so he will not bite my sack

[verse 4: mickey d. & mr. safety]
why the h+ll we wasting time?
we can go line for line all day
what do you say, we go celebrate our holiday
i don’t remember why we’re fighting in the first place

what holiday is this?
is it 4/20, halloween or christmas?
what if you were a jehovah’s witness?
and does this affect the business?

we’ll call it the day of stupidity
where everyone in the world gets crazy
be as free as you wanna be
mickey d. and the s.m.p

all you crazy potheads, hit your green
all the silver people need to get up and scream
black, white, man, woman, straight or g+y
everybody in the world, have a strange day

oh my god, all the excitement i’m going through in this song
it’s making my stomach hurt, i got to make p++p!

when, right now? what are you doing?
you’re f+cking sick. you’re cleaning that up

- mr safety lyrics

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