mx-80 sound – memories of my nonexistence lyrics
[spoken]
visualize me at nearly 5:15 p.m. on my back in the or
an iv fluid dripping into a vein in my left arm
the anesthetist talking to me
right in front, and above, a big clock is in view
i focus on the time, the second hand
the anesthetist says, “now, you will sleep.”
i note the darkening of my surroundings
quickly, i look at the clock
[sung]
memories of my nonexistence
[spoken]
the next instant i experienced hands forcefully holding my two wrists down
i smile to myself inwardly thinking “i have experienced what death could be like.”
the only difference being that when i die i will not have these memories of the nonexistence myself
because i will never again return to conscious existence
[sung]
memories of my nonexistence
[spoken]
i had not one single visitor to the hospital in the 22 months i was there
and i loved every moment of that
finally, i am basking now in an aura of good feeling
i describe it as a job well done
i’m feeling very self satisfied
however it is like everything else in one’s life
a big obstruction has been cleared, a problem successfully solved
you feel happy for a while but then, well, what else is new?
new problems flood in to fill the anxiety of old now surmounted solved ones
and, before you know it, you’re back to the famous “square+one”
[sung}
memories of my nonexistence…
never thought i would go the distance
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