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no coast rap battles – the saurus vs. xqz lyrics

[round 1: the saurus]
i heard steve was runnin’ late for this
they said, “how did you know?”
his nose told me, when i bumped into it several hours ago
i know you claim no coast, but my whole coast claims me
reap what you sow
then can i give ’em shine to grow they seeds?
well, okay, steve
get the notes in order: do+re+mi
and i’ll clip his whole dang team: that’s okc!
they say i’m in the stone age, back on my ’08 st++z
no hd, the blueprint: old jay+z
y’all tryna hear coldplay sing or cobain scream?
y’all f+ckin’ with homemade speed or cocaine ki’s!?
i’m sayin’ x should step it up a bit
maybe get some drugs to mix with extra substances
’cause i don’t think x is cut for this
every punch connects to show you what the second coming is
turn x to dust from the exodus that x is up against
and this is only one percent of what you get
cut the check
i’ll come collect the bounty, huntin’ heads like boba fett
throwin’ some event tryna use me to prove he’s on the come+up next
but i’ve double+checked the numbers, and you’re just another random number, x
nonetheless, i’ll rip this square apart
you can’t compare the art
mc escher: it can go any direction when the staring starts
put two blades to his helmet like derek carr’s
or b+tch, i’m bearin’ arms like bill and ted wit’ the air guitars!
excellent!
the green light on x is lit!
extra clips!
westside connect your sh+t if i hear any lip from x a bit (xzibit)
anyone i coulda went against would end up dead from this
i was deemin’ (demon) to leave a body
what possessed y’all to let x assist (exorcist)?
[round 1: xqz]
i say, yo!
another war in peace park, and i’m feelin’ armed for conquest
francis quad columns transform to parthenon steps
went from a vacant town to sacred grounds where spartan gods met
this the scene that i fathered
i’m here to guard what little part i got left
see the berlin theatre walls marked with carvings all etched
rest in peace, loony bin, cross my heart and god bless
i been doin’ this since way before any of us had clout
i represented this league, no matter how much we’d get bad+mouthed
i beat deadbeat for the title on the front porch of my frathouse
i proposed to my ex over there, then over there, i went streaking after i blacked out
too true
jumped in the game like the zou crew
before the shot, blue note
after the shot, blue fugue!
we in como, and it’s still z+o+u for life
i lived here seven years, so i got recommendations if you’re lookin’ for sh+t to do tonight
and you must be happy to be here too, right?
i mean, i know how much you reduced your price
another the saurus battle at a 10+year anniversary where the math came in super light!
breathe, motherf+cker!
and y’all might wanna move a couple feet back now
’cause when the saurus is a fan of his opponent, he f+ckin’ reacts wild
throwin’ elbows, punchin’ walls…
f+ckin’ relax, kyle
shoulda canceled before the 30: this a free app trial
this gon’ cost you!
i said, i was circumventin’ the same halls i walked through as a nerdy freshman
nervous, sweatin’, did that nose touch every thirty seconds
battle rap’s best+kept secret from the first impression
they ain’t heard me step in
i was lurkin’ on the surface tension
grasshopper, watchin’ urban legends beggin’ for they worker’s pension
barely worth rememberin’, wonderin’ why the culture turned against ’em
i been patient
sh+t’s been like waitin’ for raiden to charge
made sure to start this battle the way i’m endin’ it
i’m goin’ straight to the bars
we might as well have had mccartney and lennon playin’ guitar
’cause no one’s talkin’ ’bout pete best once he gets replaced with a star(r)!
the saurus didn’t really ask for smoke with the champ, did he?
shake hit me up for this battle, i said, “maybe, man. i’m mad busy.”
{shake]
yeah, it’s for real

[xqz]
i said, startin’ your round off with a nose joke?
i think that was a tad risky
i followed my nose to get here…the nose of these two cans with me!
f+ck you!
battle rap’s favorite depressing great+uncle
joe budden, went from mr. jumpoff to b+tchin’ about his everyday struggle
i hope you ain’t come to play, pete, ’cause this the lightest round i got for you
i wrote that setup before i finished writing, so that actually might not be true
but don’t worry about how long we been doin’ this, or if the style’s a little old+fashioned
’cause these b+tches still don’t know how to get rid of me like closed captions

[round 2: the saurus]
y’all need to stand back a couple extra feet when my opponent’s snappin’!
or in that round’s case, don’t worry
’cause if you ain’t noticed, no reaction
my style’s a mix of homer’s odyssey and greg giraldo’s roasts of comedy
but he’s gonna tell y’all that i’m so old and fatherly
but steve’s the no coast anomaly
who most folks just probably don’t know as commonly
‘cause he has nothing to show for it, but he’s been battling almost as long as me
xqz…against bruce lee
the landlord of this battle sh+t + your rent’s due, steve
you want smoke? i won’t let you breathe
i stay putin’ out fire, i’m denis leary in rescue me
your best move would be to just stand there in traffic
or get clapped over a dimebag on some pantera fan sh+t
too bad we can’t share a classic ‘cause you ain’t that charismatic…
but this gon’ be easier than john john thought your grandparents had it!
and there you have it!
any problem, i’m gettin’ rid of it
left my signature right next to the x on his death certificate
now that’s even less considerate than you expected, isn’t it?
i came to call x a b+tch in this, and then let y’all witness it like an exhibitionist!
just live with it, i’m stuntin’ his progression
last call at sunrise: this b+tch is gon’ get ugly in a second
first flag, then you?
two up+and+comers tested
bagged ‘em both back+to+back: sh+t, i’m lucky number slevin!
everybody wants to be a legend, but it isn’t likely
i ain’t seen a rapper big (b.i.g) enough to hypnotize me since the ‘90s
we coulda done this in chicago
don’t think i’d k!ll you in your city? try me
i got priors pitchin’, but i put those bricks behind me like the wrigley ivy
time!
[round 2: xqz]
yeah, yeah, yeah…
we all know the saurus can rap

[the saurus]
we do, we do

[xqz]
but you know where the real displays of his g+nius live?

[shake]
tell us

[xqz]
when he gets in the…intelligent debates with battle fans, whom he’s always very reasonable with
his tweets are sick!
for example, if you don’t have the saurus on your mount rushmore
you should eat a d+ck and find some bleach to sip
when the saurus notices someone from the gop exists, he is p+ssed
and even though, politically, you’re someone that i’m typically in agreement with
all biases aside, you’re an inconsiderate piece of sh+t
i mean, twitter’s a terrible place
i mean, what some clowns do for some clout is reckless
but tellin’ some random strangers to go drown to death? it just sounds pathetic
i mean, he’s been banned from twitter multiple times and keeps coming back
come to think of it, now i get it!
i didn’t know this whole “two times everything” thing included getting your account suspended
i said, all i’m saying is if you haven’t been following battle rap since scribble jam, you’re a poser
i mean, why wouldn’t you have been following when battles were worse and production values were lower?
the freestyle days were dumb as f+ck
“oh, off the top of the dome
and to prove i’m freestyling, you’re wearing the following clothes”
he acts like 2007 is some ancient time we couldn’t possibly know
like, “i’m from an era where youtube videos took six seconds longer to load”
(+pretends to check his phone+)
two seconds ago, he told a fan on twitter, “you don’t deserve oxygen, ho!”
oh, he just tweeted: “man, last night’s tacos were dope!”
this is why your old footage is so cringy
but dudes like lux, mook, and k+shine had aged fine
‘cause they were rappin’ about actual sh+t they’ve been through
just bang .9s and gang signs
and rapping was just some hobby for smartasses you picked up in grade 9 at bayside
tellin’ your friends, “yeah, basically, i just list celebrities whose names rhyme. it’s a great time!”
i said, if the scene forgot about you, then they did it on purpose
you’re the scribble champ, right?
well, the sh+t i draw perfect
treat his head like a spinnin’ top
baryshnikov mixed with bob berkowitz
and my dogs pullin’ somethin’ like the iditarod circuit
f+ck your timeline! i’m only here to get blocked up out it
gat in hand like a backup cam
i can’t pull up to the spot without it
always soundin’ like his tonsils out
cottonmouth without a water fountain
i would sn+tch that sh+t, but that’s one greasy chain like waffle houses
i said, the kid’s been waitin’ for him to say, “come outside” like your daughter grounded
he’s a decorated vet? well, he will be after there’s chalk around him
they brought him out ‘cause the league was happy to do it
and i been payin’ dues longer than a graduate student
they act like this matchup is huge, but in reality, it’s a lateral movement
‘cause i won’t get any better from rapping with a the saurus
f+ckin’ canibus proved it
you are a legend, though
but i do wanna get a pic real quick
than+…
thanks, champ
oh, did you realize there’s a new feature on faceapp?
it shows me what it’d look like if your face was made out of the gravel under train tracks
and…oh, never mind + my regular camera made that
time

[round 3: the saurus]
about a year ago…steve said he was gonna quit battle rapping ‘cause of depression
p+ssy, please!
this is your fifth battle since then, so…let’s give him that last push he needs
heard you finally went off the deep end, x
you were slippin’, and fallin’…so i dm’d x
like, “what happened, bro?”
he was in tears, said he was trapped, alone in darkness, like…
like…”you give a decade of your life to someone, and they start acting cold and heartless”
i said, “i’ve had rough breakups, too, man. you’ll be back. i know you got this.”
he said, “nah, man. not my marriage. i meant my battles no one watches.”
man, have some composure!
i don’t think that sh+t is kosher
but i mean, i guess, do what you gotta do if that brings you closure
but if you could wait until after our battle is over to take a bath with your toaster…
i’m just sayin’, maybe you’d win some fans back!
like, “steve’s a real one! he did that for the culture!”
no lines drawn
you’ve been battling since ‘09, dawg
still on the same plane you’ve spent your full adult life on
me? i’ve made my own waves until the low tide’s gone
now watch him get cooked the whole night long
i kept the stove light on!
oh my god…
let’s lock this in before he withdraws the offer
or i’ll air bud, too (2)
sh+t, you can give dog the oscar
the force feels like twin rocket launchers
but you really just got split by the fif’s like…”live long and prosper”

[round 3: xqz]
looked at your phone again, huh, pete?
anything to get you to stop chokin’
actually, there’s a distinct possibility i might do it too
i should get this google doc open
the saurus…double meaning
‘cause with vocab, he’s a beast
i was watching your battle with geechi gotti the other day
you know, old man and the c (sea)

[the saurus]
let’s go!

[xqz]
he did that whole classic “predicting your angles” intro, like:
“we all know i’m a pro gambler, geech’
i’m an og, i got a fine+ass girl, i’m in the market for a volkswagen to lease”
you were k!llin’ it!
but we all know sh+t changes like clockwork, brother
‘cause that french canadian broad left, huh?
well, what can you do, man? it was hot girl summer
i mean, i bet this man had the wedding f+ckin’ half+planned already
parted ways with montreal and left wingin’ it in vegas like max pacioretty
i mean, we’ve all been through breakups like you said, man
and i’m not really tryin’ to hate on it
but turns out he dumped her ‘cause she painted a battle rap mount rushmore without his face on it

[the saurus]
that’s a unforgivable offense

[xqz]
that’s right!
i said, but i ain’t come to joke around
you know this clown’s been broken down
so for my como crowd, this is how a no coast round’s supposed to sound
i said, it’s been my moment!
and i’m ‘bout to have him feel like time’s frozen
i said, blow the whole field wide open like a cyclone in wyoming
the eye+rollin’, seein’ main stage spots that should be mine stolen
turtle from entourage: this chase is what keeps my drive goin’
this ain’t a.i. crossin’ mike out of his sneakers
this is vince papale still tryin’ to try out at receiver
they see me at events like, “that’s battle rap’s future unsigned hype”
they see you at events like, “d+mn, must be alumni night”
old+timer!
seein’ you like this got me so inspired
over+grind, writin’ over ‘meisters on my overnighters
these seniors wanna k!ll my class, but they’ll never do it
heathers movie wit’ winona ryder when she opened fire
this league’s been mine!
i give a f+ck how these ingrates feel
after the first title, sh+t changed: that’s that cl!ckbait feel
if the kid skates, i deck him ‘til the grip tape peel
this b+tch get socked wit’ more knuckles than tim wakefield
but this the part of the round where i get sincere again
kinda switch up the plan
the fact that the saurus isn’t on that summer impact card is ridiculous, man
i mean, you’re a doggone legend
must be these gosh+dang idiot fans
i mean, i don’t get it + you seem like a perfect freakin’ fit for the brand
but researching his battles was tough
there wasn’t a lot of insights that i could muster from ‘em
‘cause he’s battled, like, a thousand times
and i’ve only seen, like, 700 of ‘em
so when i get sick of battle rap and start feeling it’s time to call quits
i’ll use a legend as a punching bag to fight it off with
thanks

- no coast rap battles lyrics

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