parliament of fools – wtfm (intro) lyrics
[radio noise]
[news broadcast: reporter johnson, mooses column, ]
h+llo every+!
+come back from the break everyone, i’m+
+johnson, coming to you live from w+
+t+
+oy band sensation parliament of fools will reportedly be receiving their court verdict in the coming+
+are minutes away from knowing the jury’s verdict in the ongoing case against the fools following the assault allegations pledged against them in early+
+en tishkoff reportedly engaged in a bar brawl which left several injured and+
+the owner even going on record to say that the damage done to the location is +
+disproved by multiple record low bac tests+
how does that even happen?!?
the band was released on bail later that night, using the profits from their newly released album to stay out of jail until late august+
+suddenly stopped paying, citing spotify revenue splits as the+
+of options and with nowhere left to turn, the fools would then rush to release their “summer single+”
+clearly a desperate attempt to get enough money to pay bail, however+
+backfired again after the bizarre decision to include rather incriminating audio recordings from the night of the alleged crime in the form of a chorus+
+held in jail ever since. the trial has been ongoing since october 27th and progressed at a snail’s pace due to the lack of cooperation from the defe+
hold on, they’re announcing the verdict! give us a second to tune y’all in!
[trial recording: judge oliver, charlie, ]
+sighs+ here we go
objection your honor, hearsay
that’s not applicable here mr. hartenstein
overruled your honor
+sighs+ you’re unbelievably lucky i’m too tired to deal with you four right now, because if i had half a mind i’d hold all of you in contempt until the day i+
+shuffles papers.+ mr. waugh, the jury has found you and your compatriots guilty. you’ve been sentenced to…(unintelligible). you will be assigned to…
um, objection again your honor, we actually plead insanity
you know what?! f+ck it! i’m assigning you four to christian st. peter psychiatric hospital, and you will stay there until you’re ready to act like f+cking adults! never, in my 47 years of practice have i ever seen something like this! you four are the most ill+mannered, narcissistic, disrespectful defendants i have ever had the displeasure of working with! i mean, i wouldn’t be surprised if the raccoon looking one f+cked ducks in his free time, that’s just the kind of little weasels you four+!
[news broadcast: reporter johnson]
holy..! well you heard it here first folks, the fools are+
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