petrol bastard – turbofuck lyrics
[verse 1]
you get home at night and you’re feeling pretty blue
walk into the bathroom and you have your evening poo
stumble to the kitchen through a haze of brown and white
suddenly you realise that you forgot to wipe
it’s a one wipe situation
you’ve got sh+t all on your b+lls
it’s a one wipe situation
there’s s+m+n on the walls
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f+cking kn+b off
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v+g+n+
drink more now
[verse 2]
put some s+m+n in a pint glass
add a f+cking oxo cube
mash your face into a brick
add a massive clump of p+b+s
don’t give it to children
don’t give it to your friends
don’t give it to yourself because
it will give you aids
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f+cking kn+b off
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v+g+n+
drink more now
drink more now
[verse 3]
it’s 7pm now and there’s nothing left to drink
a hooker in the wardrobe, vomit in the sink
the body in the bath is really starting to stink
a bottle in the corner gives you a wink
you can’t order it in bars
you won’t find it in the shops
it will make your bowel grow hair
and do lots of bl++dy plops
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f+cking kn+b off
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof+ck, it’s a turbof+ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v+g+n+
drink more now
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