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professor elemental – weird weird west lyrics

jethro! jethro!
eh, what?
ya deaf ol’ coot!
what is it…?
you see what happened at the saloon?
i ‘ain’t seen nothin’
d+mndest thing i ever saw!
i ‘ain’t ever seen nothin’ like that!
i couldn’t have been more surprised if my own mother
turned out to be a raccoon in a hat, jethro!
jethro, you gotta hear what happened at the saloon!
what went down?
oh mah gawd!
yeah i got a story to tell ya…
the tale of the west
the weird, weird west
listen a spell
let me explain
a stranger rode into town with no horse+
no one knew what was stranger+ his clothes or his walk
they supposed he was dangerous+ he showed them a painting
of an ape in a suit that had ladies fainting
but this was no bar of barflies and snitches+
these were men who pulled themselves up by their britches
and women as tough as they were pretty
as pretty as they were tough+ and they were pretty
and if this stranger had tried anything funny
they’d have punched out his lights and taken his money
but he went to the bar and he grabbed him a drink
he downed it, demanded more, but before you could blink+
the bar fell silent
uneasy quiet
the stranger regretted that drink once he tried it
a shot of moonshine, and rattlesnake venom
that belonged to big jake who then drew his weapon
take a look all around
now you’re in the wild wild west
but there’s something kinda strange…
not like the rest…
it’s the weird, weird, weird, weird west!
the stranger said+ “stop+
wait a second friend!”
“let’s be gentlemen, maybe even make amends!”
“a nice game of cards+ the loser buys the winner dinner!”
big jakey just laughed+ at cards he’s no beginner
all accross the bar relief on all their faces
but as he delt, from the sleeve fell several aces
and jake’s face fell, stood up, eyes narrow+
the stranger did a dance like a badly injured sparrow
jake struck first+ stranger duck+ jake missed
and punched one of three brothers, so while the stranger hid+
the brothers stood together+ baddest men you’ve ever seen
jake’s crew squared up+ evil, rude and mean
someone yelled out “fight!”
brothers came out swinging
bringing chaos to the bar+ dangerous men and women
bottles smashing, people flying, punches landing
and when it was all done+
no one left standing
they all went down+ the good, bad, the unstable
finally the stranger came from underneath the table
and in walked the sherriff+
“look, this fight is uncovered!”
there’s a bowdown, jake, and all three brothers+
and the others. whoever went to get these guys
i wanna look him in the eyes.”
“i’m about to deputise.”
the stranger had gone. best for everyone’s sake
no one knows where he went+
or if he found his ape
take a look all around
now you’re in the wild wild west
but there’s something kinda strange…
not like the rest…
it’s the weird, weird, weird, weird west!
“well it’s… it’s definitely a different kinda west if you ask me…”
“it’s a peculiar kinda west if you ask me…”
“off+character if you ask me!”
“different is the word that comes to my mind…”
“not normal is what comes to my mind…”
“it’s odd west are the words that come to my mind!”
“it’s certainly a wacky west.”

- professor elemental lyrics

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