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protextor – an attempt at focus lyrics

late one night i held my knife to my chest
for five minutes i laid in bed
just one light press…
it’d be nice to get some rest
but the phone won’t stop ringing
f-ckin’ social b-tterflies want me
to go to some thing and i just wanna disappear
cuz they can’t offer me anything
your attempts at comfort just p-ss me off
more than anything
cuz you want something from me
in return and i don’t have it
i can’t help that you seem to have formed this connection with adam
adam’s not home
he took the cash and he ran
i’m sure he’s happy wherever he is
he practically danced out of my body
like a demon, my name is hollow sh-ll
would you like to test my limits of
tolerance now or are you still
too enamored to have some common sense?
i attempt to stand up and get off the bed and
drop the shiv, this is just f-cking nuts
have one rational thought you dumb-ss
don’t f-cking cut your way out of the situation
what a selfish stupid impulse
cowardly courage that won’t come
h-ll is too suspenseful
…or not suspenseful enough
predictable so much i know how it ends
from the front i discovered at a young age
that this was the curse
but it never got better in fact it’s been getting much worse, it’s cuz i’m clever and don’t confuse that for arrogance, that’s a godd-mn fact
and i only use it for self-defense
actually i am arrogant
but don’t confuse that for merriment
hating the person i’ve become
is just so good for your stereos
it’s catchier when it’s sad, right?
so you can identify with how i feel
in the tunnel i’ll be your flashlight
aw, maybe i just need to get f-cked
need a c-nt, oh…
“that’s gonna make people uncomfortable”
the word ‘c-nt’? well…
how about p-ssy when i use it to describe you?
you p-ssy scared of language
how the f-ck else can i fight dude?!
i’m not tough and i don’t own a gun
and while we’re on the subject
who in the f-ck wants a gun?!
the most powerful weapon that any p-ssy can shoot
i guess it makes you feel safe
knowing the playing field’s been leveled for you
no sk!ll is required
to perform these basic tasks
and you’re not p-ssed off?
how f-ckin’ crazy is that?
half of me desperately wants to see the good in people and the other half is laughing hysterically
at how this world is see-through
i’m dying to hold on to my humanity, for real
i don’t want to be the villain here
i can’t stand to be and i hear that
some men just wanna watch the world burn
and i’m afraid i’m one of them
but no, i don’t like violence
i’m just not surprised by it
so i guess i’m just frustrated when people
don’t see what’s in front of them
i need to run real quick

i was running across the lawn
and i saw someone waving from across the pond
said to myself it’s just in my head
but i had to go back and see it again
it’s like no matter how i try i can’t leave it alone
cuz i’m sure someday they’re gonna need me i know
so i keep on looking just running in place
should i go or should i stay?

okay i’m back
i just feel like my rant was getting too unfocused
so let me rope it in and try to hold it closer
been holdin’ on so long i’m getting ropeburns
i screamed for help for awhile
but then my throat hurt
use the word “loner”
because it helps to justify it
and writing this i’m nervous
someone’s gonna f-ckin’ try to untie it
i won’t subscribe to that diet
stop tryin’ to make me healthier
i don’t need your concern
you can have your high moral fiber
i’m gonna eat my desert
i’ll have taco bell with chocolate milk
yeah throw in some greens and herbs
it’s called balance which you have none of
but i practice every moment
so good luck catchin yourself
when i kick your pedestal over
and i’m tired of gettin’ sh-t for kickin’ sh-t over
this is my rant for anyone who sees
a mirror in my photo, this is a snapshot of a rash moment snapped for no reason
i’ll be the mascot for the bad thoughts
you’d rather deleted
i’m fully aware that the world is falling to pieces
all i ever wanted was a girl to share the grief with
to stand with me
by my side and watch it burn
but she’s gotta be incredibly smart
and hot in turn, is that shallow?
wow, i thought it was deep
but if we’re in the circle of trust
it’d be a godd-mn relief
i want a smart blonde
to give me carte blanche
with my hard-ons
and afterwards we could argue about art
and so on is that so wrong?
oh god, maybe i’m better off as i am
maybe a belle to the beast
would end up crushed in my hands
i just need something to break before i do
i just need someone to say that everything’ll be fine dude. okay…attempt at focus
this is just a single photo, now onto slide 2

keep the projector on!

- protextor lyrics

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