pw musical productions – a guy you can trust lyrics
d+ck gumshoe [sung]:
i consider myself to be a real man’s man, see
the kinda guy who won’t back down from a fight
i keep this city clean, pal, and i live like a king
though i eat ramen noodles every night
but despite my gruff exterior, i know i ain’t superior
my sk!lls at solving crimes can sometimes rust…
but i’m swallowing my pride, this time i’m on your side
and i’m the kinda guy that you can trust!
well, i know we’ve b+tted heads before, startin’ with the case of harry butz
(phoenix wright [spoken]: that’s ‘larry’)
and if the chief catches me helpin’ you, he’ll probably think i’m nuts
(phoenix [spoken]: if hе doesn’t already)
but see, pal, this is differеnt from that redd white trial back in may
(phoenix [spoken]: august!)
’cause i’m sure mr. edgeworth is innocent, unlike the client you had that day!
maya fey [spoken]:
hey, that was me!
gumshoe:
oh, yeah… sorry, pal
phoenix:
oh, boy…
gumshoe [sung]:
so if you need help, just call me and
i’ll be there in a flash!
and just to show we’re pals now
i’ll lend you anything that ain’t cash!
maya:
oh thank you, kind detective! von karma will eat our
dust!
gumshoe:
we’ll find the lies, now i’m the kinda guy that you can
trust!
[spoken]
and i’m being serious with you, too, now, pal! if there’s anything that i can do to help get mr. edgeworth declared “not guilty,” well, let’s just say we’re a team now, pal!
phoenix:
ah…well, considering the past few cases where you happened to make things worse for our defendants, maybe we—
maya:
nick! detective gumshoe is putting his job on the line for us. the least you can do is take advantage of it!
gumshoe:
yeah, that’s right, pal!
maya:
detective, any chance you could help us find gourdy somehow?
gumshoe:
oh, you bet! i’ve got three secret weapons i could lend ya, so listen up and take your pick
[sung]
first up, shake hands with our department’s best evidence+seeking tool
(missile: woof woof!)
(maya [spoken]: aw, cute!)
this pooch is so advanced it makes me look like a bumbling fool!
(phoenix [spoken]: imagine that.)
i found him in the gutter, on a sad, cold winter’s night
he’s my pal, though he gives the hand that feeds him quite a bite
(maya [spoken]: wait, he bites?)
you can call him missile; he’ll find any drugs or clues you need
phoenix:
well, he should come in handy if the gourd lake monster’s been smoking weed
gumshoe:
hey! no need for sarcasm, missile’s helped with many a bust
and if you feed him, he’s the kinda guy that you can trust!
the second here’s this fishing pole and my fondest memory
of a fishing trip i got to take with maggey, a cute trainee!
phoenix [spoken]:
hold it!
[sung]
we can’t catch gourdy with that!
and we can’t sit around and just wait!
maya [spoken]:
heh, why not?
gumshoe:
well, pal
[sung]
you’ll only know if you try!
you just need the right kind of bait!
phoenix [spoken]:
oh yeah! like, uh…missile?
[overlapping]
gumshoe:
what!? don’t make me put you under arrest, pal!
maya:
nick!? you’re the worst
phoenix:
sorry, sorry!
[end overlapping]
gumshoe [sung]:
i’ve saved the best for last, this metal detector’s real intense!
last month this baby even found me twenty+five whole cents!
phoenix [spoken]:
wait, wait
[sung]
we’re looking for a monster, not change from someone’s pants
gumshoe:
well, you never know, pal, it may have been eating soda cans!
phoenix [spoken]:
of course!
gumshoe [sung]:
so that’s what i can lend ya, my loyal lawyer chums!
maya:
oh wow, they’re all so perfect!
phoenix [spoken rhythmically]
um yeah, i can’t pick just one…oof
gumshoe [sung]:
now go help mr. edgeworth! to free him is a must!
and i’m the kinda guy you can trust!
cha!
…pal
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