rachel bloom – my sex junk lyrics
this one goes out to all my bipeds who identify as ladies!
this world of ours is full of choice
but must i choose between
only john or joyce?
are my options only hard or moist?
my v-g-n- has its own voice
not vocal cords, a metaphorical voice
(spoken)
sometimes, i do a voice for my v-g-n-
please, don’t tell me
i’m the only one who does that
(chorus)
cause my s-x junk
is so, oh, oh, oh
much more than
either-or, or or
power bottom or a top off
versatile love may have
some b-tt stuff
it’s evolution, ain’t nothing new
there’s nothing taboo about a s-x stew
just add salt or gérard depardieu
french treasure
(repeat chorus)
if they’re alive, i’ll date them
channing or jenna tatum
i’m down for anything
don’t box in my box
give someone new a handy
then give yourself props
(sung by a dorky interlocutor)
oh you think you’re so smart
did you learn g-y in college?
(response from rachel)
chill with all of that
while i drop some knowledge
s-xuality’s a spectrum
everyone is on it
even you might like it
if you sit up on it
drag queen, drag king
just do what feels right
you’re a tall pans-xual
flirty wood sprite
who enjoys a fleshlight
in the cold moonlight?
(dorky interlocutor)
with a sad clown
skyping via satellite?
(rachel)
d-mn skippy, home slice
sing it with me all night
(both)
s-x how you want
it’s your godd-mn right
(repeat chorus)
get off your soapbox
get off your soapbox
my s-x junk’s better than
bagels with lox
with lots of schmear
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