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replicator (of futurology) – fallen apart lyrics

i remember
[?] to [?] an emotion

[verse 1]
i can’t find the words, i don’t know where to start
i guess i start in the beginning and i’ve fallen apart
i won’t go that far, i won’t fall that hard
i swear i’ll never drift that far into the dark
i’m truly sorry for the pain that i’ve caused your heart
but who’d guess that it was love that would tear us apart?
how can i be this smart you understand so little?
reacting so different to the hands we were given
and i guess i’m living with the guilt and the memories
but it’s funny we’re as perfect as is heaven sent
these golden moments seem to make all the pain irrelevant like the [?]
nothing [?], no change without empathy
protectively, pathetically
asking where do you end and i begin
this [?] circling away from being a jester to the king and back again
what’s happening? i feel like i was dreaming
now i’ve snapped back to reality entrapping me
i can’t see they’ve bolted locked and thrown away the key
now there’s no chance of saving me, i’m history
i feel twisted and cheap because without you i’m weak and that’s not me trying to be cute
i’m just telling the truth, just need this sh-t off my chest so i can finally rest, ’cause i’m getting closer to death
i feel it in every breath, it’s got a grip on my throat so tight i can’t even choke
growing cold, i’m alone, it’s a joke
it’s cut my throat by my wings, but we elope in my dreams, a bit too hopeful it seems
naïveté it has me clutching at my heartstrings as if it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
a tragedy filled with fallacies and apathy
crushing the doubts into the ashtray, back to square one again
i begin to fear that there’s no happy ending to this story
no glory, just a bunch of memories that depress me and test me, provide therapy
edging the abyss, impending blissful ignorance, i’ma miss you [?]
everyday and every way keep saying i’m ok, why didn’t you stay?
i feel like i’m fading away, becoming [?]
it’s strange, it’s like you’re a part of me departing me
and now i’m hopelessly lost in lands uncharted
why was it me that was martyred? you left me halfhearted, now i’m guard-less
just stuff my feelings under the floorboards
i can’t stand this anymore

[sound bite]
(existence
well, what does it matter?
exist on the best terms i can
the past is now part of my future
the present is well out of hand)

i remember
[?]
through the tracks in your [?]

[verse 2]
it’s a cold wet night, i’m on lockdown
3am, alone again, and i’m lost now
‘cause i glance through a window i feel more like a [?] grown man weeping like a willow
makeshift bodies for pillows, [?]
never out of sight, never out of mind
never [?] but then again, maybe you just didn’t have the time
time to spend or time to waste
i guess in the end all that you really wanted to hear were your views and what seemed to me to be [?]
‘cause i’d fall for your waste and now i’m wasting away
we fall from grace, i pray for patience today
but it never came and now every single f-cking day’s the same
gray and plain, staying with pain, broken lane and shame
‘cause i’m so ashamed of what i became, f-ck it, what i’ve become
can’t help but feel that this is a song unsung
we used to be one, used to make you c-m, but now the sight of me would probably just make you run, i’m done

i don’t remember your name

[sound bite]
(you can’t be in my gang if you don’t smoke)
(i wanna be in your gang)
(neither do i)

- replicator of futurology lyrics

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