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replicator (of futurology) – machine lyrics

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[verse 1]
whoever said you can’t conquer time has never tried
searching for every boundary and pushing past where it lies
i’ve lived with these losses now for far too long
so much so that they’re permeating every single song
this saturated sadness of a life deconstructed
call it reverse engineering when really it’s self-destruction
i’m tryna overcome the plain instinct of biology
and replace it with a framework based on astronomy
desperation causing too much [?]
tryna fight me as i rise out [?]
so how’s paul? eh, well his basic needs are being met
but without meaning, i think to myself i may as well be dead
‘cause if the purpose of life to live a life with a purpose
then i’m in the shallow end and try to dive beneath the surface
juxtaposed in this circus, working to maintain sustenance
and knowing the whole time i just can’t be f-cked with
i just need some sp-ce to breathe, i need some sp-ce to grieve
time to step back and -ssess the [?]
‘cause i’ve had no timeout, i’ve had no sp-ce down
throughout a period of my life that has been mired in doubt
compounded by the stresses of the lifestyle that i lead
the animal inside that [?] by selfishness and greed
to cultivate empathic understanding seems like a lost cause
when i’m faced with a wall of noise that just wants war and nonstop

[verse 2]
so do i have a solution, or am i still searching for the answer?
caught in this urban maze, enveloped in madness
the pace that modern life moves at’s completely unsettling
it’s hard sometimes to even know what question i’m addressing
when it comes to society, everybody’s got the [?]
but faced with the self, our scripture melts into the ether
is it nature or nurture? neither or either?
our culture will deceive us, tell us were standardized and equal
b-st-rdized and deceitful, there is no prequel to this mess
i’m pretty sure it’ll be a mind-f-ck from beginning ’til end
so is this life really a game with objectives and coherence
or is that just how the mind works when it’s driven by fear
when it’s desperately searching for significance to hold
a common theme to be woven through the narratives being told
‘cause i don’t fit that mold, gripe and moan ’til i grow old
i want a story filled with humility and soul
i want to live life from the ground up right now
instead of waiting on hopes that may never work out
i don’t think that life’s a game, i think that it’s a toy
an immediate experience and not an orchestrated ploy
how do you plan for a future that doesn’t exist?
answers written on the back of a cloud of mist
i missed the mythical, i need a sigil, not a vigil
a little piece of my creative soul wrapped up in a riddle
the words may mean nothing to you but i’m not bothered
to be honest, i’m giving myself something to look forward to tomorrow
every scribble on the page is a candle in the dark
[?] deserve to take a breath and feel the beating of my heart
an incandescent call to arms, my mind’s rallying cry
singing, “if these songs live on, then i can never truly die”
like a red giant in the night sky’s [?]
mesmerizing from a distance, a little dot inside the infinite