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richard swift - kfc lyrics

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h+llo, america

this is doble finepennies, a representative of nomozene

a few weeks ago i was commissioned to write a song about customer service

unfortunately i’m not smart enough to write good a song about customer service

so instead i’ve decided to tell you a story about diarrhea

when i was seventeen or eighteen i worked for a fast food chain that fried chicken

i can’t tell you what the name of the restaurant was but it rhymеd with pentacube hide pickеn

after i tired of my job there, and jojo’s, i went to pick up my last check

as i arrived, i was greeted with a brand new fried chicken wrap

not wanting to be rude, i quickly ate the wrap

i gathered my check and drove my 1995 baby blue chevy cavalier home

about three hours later, that’s when it hit me++

the food poisoning [maniacal laughter]
my god it was terrible

i prayed to a god i don’t even believe in

“take my life!”

of course he didn’t answer me [laughter]

all i could do was eat frozen grapes, which sat gently in a bowl on my fevered chest

i cried and cried into the cold night

“my god! take my life! take my godd+mned life, you bearded sp+ceman!”

no answer

have you ever been so sick of vomit and diarrhea that you just want to die?

i’ve never wanted to die until about ten years after this story

i lived in long beach and had a bout of depression but that’s besides the point

- richard swift lyrics

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