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rubeus and the hagrids – unicorn hunter lyrics

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unicorn hunter lyrics
hagrid: ello ‘arry
harry: wot?
hagrid: wanna go hunt some unicorns?
harry: f+ck yeah hagrid
hagrid: how about you hermione?
hermione: i wanna bathe in unicorn blood
hagrid: how about you ron?
ron: why are we going in the forbidden forest?
hardig: cause i’m hungry and i need bait
(kids screaming in joy, ron goes what?)

bring your crossbows
bring out your stillborn
we’re all gonna eat unicorn
tonight

my fridge is empty
my rage is full
i got the strength of a raging bull
lets fight

a centaur steak tastes too much like a horse
basilisks stew is way too co+rs+
i need a new taste that feels more distinct
dodos are good, but i made them extinct
we’re all gonna hunt unicorn!
we’rе all gonna k!ll unicorn!
we’re all gonna eat unicorn!
throw it in a pot with somе sweet sweet corn

we just got lost
with nothing to eat
luckily ron’s here to be our treat
ron: what?
hagrid: i’m just joking hehe… unless

birds are delicious, but i just ate a bunch
spider sandwich has a lack of crunch
merfolk sushi tastes like a rotten egg
but not as rotten as my house elf greg

hermione: where is greg btw?
hagrid: uhhh. on a farm
ron: can i visit him?
hagrid: soon my delicious friend
ron: …wait what does that mean?

we’re all gonna hunt unicorn!
we’re all gonna k!ll unicorn!
we’re all gonna eat unicorn!
throw it in a pot with some sweet sweet corn
hagrid: aw it’s just a wild voldemort with a party hat. wait… i haven’t eaten that before

we’re all gonna eat voldemort!
we’re all gonna eat voldemort!
we’re all gonna eat voldemort!
throw it in a pot before he takes us to court
eat the evidence kids (cheerings and zombie noises)

remember everyone when we get back, ron was amputated because he “fell”
(kids agree, ron complains)

- rubeus and the hagrids lyrics

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