ryan tellez – the dark knight trilogy recap rap lyrics
batman begins, two kids playing finders keepers
well, surprise bruce, say, jeepers creepers
he’s sleepless, keeps dreaming of these frightening creatures
oops, spoiler: they become his most defining feature
but daddy’s here to teach his little boy to be tough
now, why do we fall?
so we can get back up
to the opera, fam
mom’s pearls, dad’s tux
freak out, get some air
bang! bang! that sucks
flash forward: himalayas, blue flower in the hills
learn ducard’s particular set of sk!lls
congrats! you p-ss! k!ll this man, that’s a no go
he’s not an executioner, he’ll just burn down your dojo
back to gotham, readjusting, get the batcave up and running
get some gadgets, go spelunking
base jumping, baddie punching
dr. crane and his mask doing scary therapy
don’t know about the other drugs?
“i swear to god!” “swear to me!”
bats relapse, a shot of toxin to the eyes
thanks to wayne enterprise, now this sh-t is weaponized 🙁
happy birthday, bruce! are you ready for your big surprise?
ra’s al ghul’s alive! what? i know! it was the white guy!
manor fire, bruce trapped, alfred plays the savior
while gotham’s tripping b-lls, crane is ko’d by a taser
runaway train, final fight gets philsophic
if you don’t mind your surroundings, the results are catastrophic
find memories in the ashes we track through
ms. dawes, the batman cannot have you
bat signal, case we run into snafus
“i never said thank you”
“and you’ll never have to”
bank heist, crazy guys, armed with shotguns and clown masks
alarm hacker, vault cracker… bus driver?
bus crash!
mob guys, rottweilers, tying up imposter bats
“what gives you the right, man?”
“i’m not wearing hockey pads”
harvey dent, white knight, locking up the criminals
and dating rachel dawes, who looks more like maggie gyllenhaal
mob’s in a pickle, but the joker’s got a magic trick
“how’d i get these scars?” well, that story’s always relative
hong kong vacay, grab the mob’s accountant
party at the wayne place… uhh… who let the clown in?
judge, then commissioner, death at every turn
“some men just want to watch the world burn”
gordon gets shot, harvey starts to lose his heads
truck chase, truck flip! j/k, gordon’s not dead
good cop, bat cop, but now you gotta choose
da or bae, either way you’re gonna lose
joker gets away, now we’re entering a new phase
harvey turns a corner and now you call him two… ew
everything is chaos, nothing here is sacred
so bruce and lucius have to get up on some nsa sh-t
boats vote to not explode, catch a joker by the toes
doing this forever? well, now, sadly no
gordon’s family is in danger, flip a coin to make decisions
batman jumps in, dent dies as the villain
the hero we deserve, alfred burns, fox offline
not the one we need, take an axe to the spotlight
we’ll hunt him, but we know he’ll be all right
guardian, watchful protector, dark knight
three hooded prisoners, one of which is bane
masked man, has a plan, and escapes on a plane
recluse bruce, bad beard, limping when he walks
straight up shamed and robbed by a cat-like fox
orphan cop, john blake, always searching for the truth
but does he know who batman is?
bruce
it’s bruce
bane wrecks the stock exchange, batman gets back in the game
5-0 thinks they can contain him, but he’s got a batwing
alfred can’t hang, bruce broke, keeps the mansion
bane lays down some plot points, but i can’t understand him
wayne’s got a new boss: h-llo ms. tate!
now, take her back to your place and see her ceo-face
meanwhile, kickin’ -ss, rockin’ team bat-cat
’til she goes behind his back and gets his friggin’ spine snapped
every cop goes underground to smoke out the enemy
gotham crumbles, every street, hines ward… mvp?
bruce goes to well prison, old guys spin yarns
chiropraction, climbing action, 3rd time’s a charm
cut to gotham in the wintertime, an anarchistic place
with the popo on his side, batman busts bane’s face
knife stab, oh snap! tate’s ra’s al ghul’s daughter!
bruce screws her twice as she crashes like her father
bat-cat kisses, say goodbyes with emotion
fly over the ocean, 3-2-1 explosion
bat statue, new funding for the orphanage
alfred finds some old friends to do florence with
new robin gets the batcave coordinates
no one’s ever gonna do batman like nolan did
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