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saturday night live - rome song lyrics

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(song)
[wife 1]
lately it seems like the magic is gone
he’s the love of my life, but something is wrong

[wife 2]
he’s staring out the window, what does he see?
is he dreaming of another woman he wants more than me?

[wife 3]
he’s got me feelin’ so alone
like our house is not a home

[wife 1]
would he be happier on his own?
what are you thinking about, baby?

[husband 1]
me? i’m just thinkin’ about

(rap)
the roman empire, ancient rome
five times a day it pops into my dome
which reminds me, they invented the dome
it’s one of the reasons that i think about rome
caesar straight didn’t give a f++k
drank ice+cold water from an aqueduct
romulus founded the eternal city
here’s him and his twin suckin’ on a wolf titty
what?
(song)
[wife 2]
our son was born, he’s a special little guy
i hand him to his daddy, he looks like he’s gonna cry
and i know his heart is filled with

(rap)
[husband 2]
rome, rome bring a tear to my eye
in the year double m, double x, triple i
did you know that their statues weren’t white? (say what?)
they painted them in colors bold and bright (say d+mn!)
emperor nero k!lled his own mother
when they k!lled his s++t they sat next to each other

(song)
[wife 3]
bills piling up, bank account ++

(rap)
[husband 3]
gladiators! it’s not like the movie, they mostly stayed alive
the feel oh so good, they’re still used today
and emperor hadrian? openly g+y

[husbands]
it’s rome, rome, ancient rome
they had central air and heat in the home
(spoken)
[wife 1]
no! no, you’re done!

[husband 1]
god!

[wife 1]
what’d you say?

[husband 1]
i said you’re acting like the visigoths right now. ow!

[wife 1}
stop thinking about rome all the time! look at our son! you got him doing it now, too

[son]
rome? naw, woman. i’m busy thinkin’ about

(rap)
dinosaurs, dinosaurs, all kinda dinosaurs
big diplodocus to tyrannosaurus
they ruled the world, but now they not around
only traces of them buried in the ground

[husband 1]
kinda like rome, rome, ancient rome
founded london and paris, zurich and cologne
and in terms of religion
(spoken)
[wife 1]
hey, no! you need to be thinking about things that matter today

[husband 1]
like what?

[wife 1]
like ++

(rap)
[wives]
astrology, astrology, reading the stars
and how their positions determines who we are

{wife 2]
he’s a scorpio, i know he’s gonna cheat all day

[wife 3]
and if you a triple gemini, stay the h+ll away

[wife 1]
astrology!

(spoken)
[husband 1]
fun fact: the romans were actually into astrology, too

[wife 1]
i said you’re done!



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