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sinisphere – illusions of the damned lyrics

[verse 1]
where do i start?
maybe the times we just kicked it at the park
or when we hung out after dark
try not to make the dogs bark
[?] all the landmarks
god you were just so smart in your own way
but girl you had my heart
i don’t know what went wrong
could it be our brains [?] didn’t get along?
could it be all the times i hit the bong?
or maybe our hearts just didn’t belong
but honestly our love was just so d-mn strong
i didn’t know what the h-ll to do after
i miss all the hugs and all of the laughter
had enough on my platter
visions of my brain just being splattered
now i’m starving and it doesn’t f-cking matter
[?] i guess i could say i’m okay
but my brain would just [?] has happened
there’s something i cannot digest
only part left of me is pain
sh-t don’t know what happened to the rest
maybe this is just a test
i must confess i tried putting these demons to rest
but i’ve never seen my best
i mean is our destiny just set?
can i ever go correct?
all the problems in my life that have become so complex
my heart is feeling weary and my soul is feeling cold
leaders misleading the youth
just in case you weren’t told
don’t know if i’ll even live to see my kids grow old
i mean truthfully who even knows what is to unfold?

[verse 2]
i know that life isn’t fair
most things go wrong and most people wouldn’t care
they just f-cking sit stare
stay inside my room
i stay sitting on this chair
writing to these hi-hats
and honestly i’m just yelling to these stairs
i do this music sh-t because it has become my p-ssion
my mind is just the type that is always really saddened
don’t even know why
i know that some sh-t has happened
[?]
but why the f-ck am i not laughing?

[verse 3]
like why is it that i don’t
what’s going wrong to the part where i won’t
life’s a struggle that much i f-cking know
i’m just becoming grown
time is running slow
honestly don’t even know where i’m supposed to go
like f-ck man i really think that i am lost
my brain just shows i can’t be working for no boss
see the deception through the loss
always seeing all my flaws
and truth is i’m paying up and my life’s the f-cking cost
i really don’t think this would even be a bother
’cause i see myself getting on to the day i turn into a father
keep my kids’ lives safe
but won’t keep them on a collar
seems like they will ever get to swim in clean lakes or fresh water

[verse 4]
it seems like we’re just a product of catastrophe
we don’t give a f-ck about the [?]
when they mention it they say it’s [?]
at this point our future seems something completely menacing
and it’s all because we’re some godd-mn f-cking power fiends
it’s predictions of this future, yeah
clouded by my pain
i feel that if the world is ending then what the f-ck is there to gain
am i insane?
is this just a game?
can’t find no one
’cause honestly they all keep hurting me the same
but there’s this girl who was always nice to me
how did one soul ever fill me up with so much glee?
yeah she’s the girl of my dreams
but i mean that literally
i only see her when i sleep
a dream within dream it seems

[verse 5]
yes i get that it sounds f-cking crazy
this girl in my head keeps fantasizing on the f-cking daily
but my visions getting hazy
[?] sh-t that’s changing
rearranging every [?]
will someone come and take me?
’cause truth is i am not scared of death
not saying i wanna die sh-t i still gotta pay my debts
i just have to see what’s next
i just have to hold my breath
i don’t wanna go
i don’t wanna leave all of my friends
for now i’m just writing i am focusing on my music
i put attention into every little lyric
everything i say just comes from the spirit
didn’t say it was just clear my brain is really f-cking cryptic
and maybe that i am just stuck in a cage
[?] beast filled with rage who just always writes another page
if i really am a misfit who just always misbehaves
then how do they expect me to ever make it to heaven’s gate?

- sinisphere lyrics

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