spitting image – santa claus is on the dole (12 inch extended mix) lyrics
[verse 1: singer]
snow is lying on the ground
and in the air the sleighbells sound
the frosty+patterned window+pane:
it’s british summertime again (no it’s not, it’s christmas!)
yes, christmas, and all children wait
for hoofbeats on the roof
but this year’s stockings won’t be filled
there’s been a mighty goof
yes, this year there’s no peace on earth
nor food and gifts abundant
for father christmas has been sacked
and his gnomes are all redundant
[chorus 1: singer, santa claus]
santa claus is on the dole
oh, i’m ub40!
his reindeers have been sold for glue
you might as well be naughty!
santa claus is on the dole
finis! kaput! it’s curtains!
the magic sleigh’s been repossessed
the suit’s gone back to burton’s
[verse 2: singer, santa claus]
his elfin helper’s topped himself
oh, how will i survive?
the grotto rent’s three months behind
and my giro’s not arrived
he’s too old to be re+employed
i’ve lost my little earner
the igloo heating’s been cut off
i’ll die of hypothermia! (oh, oh, oh!)
[chorus 2: singer, santa claus]
santa claus is on the dole
he’s lost his money spinner
real fairy cake and rudolph steak
will be my christmas dinner!
santa claus is on the dole
yes, i’ve been undercharging
giving all the gifts for free
destroyed my profit margin
[bridge, spoken: singers, santa claus]
silent night, holy night
all is calm, all is bright (no, stop that!)
we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas (oh, you can’t be serious.)
we wish you a merry christmas, and a happy new year! (did you hear that, rudolph?)
[verse 3: singer, santa claus]
he’s been to several interviews
but he got the same reply:
‘you’ve got no gces, old lad
you’re worse than princess di’
he’s got a business partner now
jack frost agreed to risk it
they bought four tons of chocolate
and we’re flogging real penguin biscuits; they’re jolly nice
[chorus 3: singer, santa claus]
santa claus is on the dole
the dhss sneer:
‘he’s overpaid; you see, according to our records
he only worked a single day each year’
santa claus is on the dole
and things don’t look too handsome
his company is being probed by tv’s
esther rantzen!
[verse 4]
but you can help old santa, kids
and make my sleighbells jingle
throw a strop with mum and dad
until they buy this single!
[outro: singer, santa claus]
santa claus is on the dole
oh, ho, ho+ho ho+ho, i’m ub40, he+ha ho ho ho!
santa claus is on the dole
so you might as well be naughty, oh+ho, ho, ho, ho!
santa claus is on the dole
finis! kaput! it’s curtains!
santa claus is on the dole
the suit’s gone back to burton’s! (and it’s jolly cold!)
santa claus is on the dole
(but never mind! merry christmas everybody!)
santa claus is on the dole
(happy christmas, boys and girls! stop that, rudolph!)
santa claus is on the dole
(put that penguin down! no, not in the christmas tree!)
santa claus is on the dole
(stupid reindeer! why are you fairies still here?)
santa claus is on the dole
(haven’t you got a gnome to go to?)
santa claus is on the dole
(ha ha ha ha! a “gnome” to go to! you get it?)
santa claus is on the dole
(easy there, rudolph!)
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