spottie dolo – rope lyrics
verse:
my god brother took his life with the rope
i ain’t seen my god mother since
that was the first time i seen my momma shed tears
panicking and distraught
daddy used to carry hammers
think that’s where i get it from
lately i been on the brink of suicidal
i’m over 21 i can legally buy a bottle
i can drink myself to death and they will call it natural causes
and never hear a thing about the demons in my closet
post bowl and post college i should be post mortem
the concept of self love to me is so foreign
usеd to showing love and nothing being therе to show for it
can you teach me about going forward?
it’s hard to make friends when you don’t speak
it’s hard to care about me when you know me
it’s hard to make strides when your legs weak
i promise that i’ll smile with some gold t++th
i promise that i’ll smile with my fronts on
only then will i put my biggest front on
that i’m not depressed
that i’m not afraid
that i never feel alone and that i’m actually brave
maybe the gaudiness and glitz can fill a void in me
maybe some diamonds will convince me that i’m royalty
maybe some jewelry and some casket embroidery will make me feel important when someone reads out my eulogy
i hate it
i hate that i’m so materialistic
i hate that i’m a slacker when everyone knows i’m gifted
i’d probably be politicking for peace
if the enemies that surround me ain’t force me to cop a piece
outro:
i remember being in 5th grade and having these really intrusive thoughts. or what i know now to be intrusive thoughts
i would take the eraser out of a pencil, bite the metal part where the eraser used to be and i would scr+pe and cut my arm with it
and i didn’t know that i was f+cked up, or clinically depressed or had general anxiety because i’m 10. i would take my arm, my cut up arm and show it to these girls who i thought were bullying me or perceived as bullying me and was like “look at what you made me do!” and all this sh+t. and obviously i don’t know what i’m doing, i’m f+cking 10 years old…but yeah i don’t know
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