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terrell – memoir: final entry lyrics

[verse 1]
this is a memoir
the last time that i’m doing this
the last time i cried out for help, that shit was a miss
in this abyss i reminisce on life before the big twist
i’m pretty pissed about the good times, they all got dismissed
well actually
did they ever exist
i’m in the midst of all the bullshit
can’t resist the way they pull shit
on me, all the time
it’s like an army, the front line
is against me and if you tempt me my tank is on fucking empty
the -ssembly of fallen soldiers have gently just fallen over
i’m reaching for closure but in my mind there’s a nova
i take a sip of a soda, where i’m from we call it pop
sorry, lost my fucking train of thought
but oh well
the hotel
say they hope
it goes well
but they hosted the party
and no tickets sell
am i serious
you’re hearing this
ain’t delirious
ain’t no curing this
appetite for disaster
my mind has been plastered all over the churches walls
it’s true, go ask you a pastor
yes, i’m a b-st-rd
can’t help it, i think it’s something i’ve mastered
there must be something i’m after
am i a rapper or actor
cause if i ain’t a fucking rapper then i’m great at the latter

[hook]
(improv)

[bridge]
where do i go
i don’t know

[hook]
(improv)

[bridge 2]
we are very rare
but they are them
and we are many

[verse 2]
my views from the 5, they couldn’t stop it from happening
they didn’t know the city that i’m from was just the half of it
my senses are apart of this, i shouldn’t have to graph the shit
and that’s just when i noticed they didn’t care, they gonna laugh the shit off
i gotta get off
the pedestal i placed myself on
i don’t deserve it
i hope they heard this
cause all my fucking life i just been nervous
and honestly, i just blurred it out of my mind
all the good times, the bad times
the in between
i know i’m fucking selfish cause all i wanna see is…
me
(what does this mean?)

[outro]
i heard from drake they would rather hear about memories than enemies
rather hear what was or will be than what is
rather hear how you got it over how much it cost you
rather hear about finding yourself and how you lost you
rather you make this an open letter
about family and struggle and it taking forever
about hearts that you’ve broken and ties that you’ve severed
no doubt in my mind, that’ll make them feel better

- terrell lyrics

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