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the axis of awesome – titty bar lyrics

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are you feeling down boy
do i see a frown boy
i know of a place you can go if you feel blue
the staff are there to please you
t-tilate and tease you
there’s a l-ss called mona
she’ll give you a b-n-r
just around the corner
there’s a neon sign
topless bar girls every tuesday 6pm til 9

at the t-tty bar
there’s dancers on the poles
at the t-tty bar
there are sl-ts and moles
at the t-tty bar
it isn’t far
you dont even need your car
that’s cos it’s your local t-tty bar

where everybody knows your name (and if they dont then you dont care)
and they’re always glad you came (and if you dont then they dont care)

the bouncers have no necks boy
put away that s-x toy
you will get us kicked out
if you keep your d-ck out

oi! hey you no touching
thought i said no touching
seriously no touching
get your d-mn hands off me

in a dark back alley
we lay bashed and bruised
not since friends season 7
have we felt so abused

at the t-tty bar
i am filled with grief
at the t-tty bar
no more hand relief
at the t-tty bar
i have a scar
i can’t open this cookie jar
we need to find another
so i will call your mother
cos she works at another t-tty bar