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the beef boys - cougars, cougars, cougars (pt. 2) [duet] lyrics

[verse 1, beef boy connor:]
took you to the hospital, you’ve fallen ill
maybe it was because i gave you double the pills
just wanted you a lil more freaky
but i guess you’re on life support so h+ll i do
i’m falling, shorty, like you did on the stairs
broke your hip when you did that
but it was kind of funny
i tried to replace your hip and instead d+mn near k!lled you
is that considered murder in the eyes of the law
hope not, but at age 90 it’s still hard to find your flaws
anyways, we’re at the hospital
doc says you got days to live, i tell him he’s capping, brother
i ask him if he knows she’s a mother, and grandmother
and great grandmother, but i think it stops after that
i don’t know, maybe great, great grandmother
but she’s really old, so maybe
that’s besides the point, though, i love this woman

[verse 2, beef boy george:]
yeah, i love this woman, yeah she knows all the streets
i don’t need google map ’cause she still wets the sheets
so what, she has alzheimer’s, she don’t remember me
but i remember her, so i don’t think it’s a tragedy
this woman has kids and kids of those kids
you got to try to help her, doc, i don’t care if she broke her ribs
say her heart’s messed up, too
i thought she broke her hip, all she did was simply slip
get her on a stretcher, doc, you got to save her life!
don’t tell me bad news or else my head will bleed with a knife
hours and hours are spent in the er
i’m wondering if laughing at her took things too far
“is that the last thing i did?” laugh at her broken hip
doc comes out of operation, all he says is “rip”
love of my life, she’s gone at 88
i can’t believe this is happening
i just lost my mate
[outro, beef boy connor:]
at least on the plus side
there’s a whole cabinet full of, um
antidepressants and opioids
just waiting for me in the kitchen for me
when i get back from the hospital
so, well that’s at least something to look forward to
isn’t it

- the beef boys lyrics

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