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the finer points – tfpsa lyrics

tfpsa lyrics
bathroom mcconaughey’s the name, egad!
if you don’t wipe just right, it’ll turn out bad
you don’t get all that sh+t, it’ll ruin your day
the chafing is horrid, not to mention the skids
it’ll drive you insane and you’ll murder your kids
the eye+bleeding begins, now you’re f+cking blind
if that’s the last line i got then that’s totally (f+cked up!)

hairy manilow and i’m here with the flow
i’m here to clean your gutters ‘cause i think you should know
if you forget about, oh, you’ll have nowhere to go
and the next place you’ll be is in the funeral home
too much rain puts a strain on your gutters and drains
your sewers will flood and it’ll back up your mains
fly away before your roof caves, high in a plane
save the trouble, clean your runnel, don’t blow out your brains

(chorus)
oh, this you gotta know
this you gotta know
it’s a f+ckin’ psa

(chorus)
oh, this you gotta know
this you gotta know
it’s a f+ckin’ psa
some guy got shot in bath & beauty
so now you got mailed about jury duty
you think that sucks, and you’re totally right
if you wanna get out, you gotta say something like
“i don’t like people that aren’t like me”
“i don’t bathe myself adequately” uh
pants p++py, unruly
your’s truly, judge booty

next psa we got for you today
uma squirmin has come to play
outside with all the dogs, all day all day
bark bark woof woof, wash your dogs, okay?
scrub+a+dub+dub and a yabba+dabba+doo
get those suds on those pugs and labradoos
twice a week should suffice, but—wait, jesus christ
(clean your puppers)
did you f+cking say you don’t own a dog?
(wash your dogs)
what do you mean “i have allergies”
i’m allergic to your f+cking bullsh+t
like, who in their right mind would refuse to grovel to those four+legged angels sent from god, herself?
(clean your puppers)
this is insane!
don’t tell me to calm down!
(clean them)
i will cut you!
stop – i’m john stainmos
well that’s what they call me, yo
you only live once, that’s how i know
eat your food when it grows that mold
it ain’t old, it’s been cold in the fridge
i eat that fungus every day
just a smidge
oh, it’s so ooey and gooey inside
it’s so furry, and that ridge with that crinkly crunch

(hahahaha,elder abuse, elder abuse, elder abuse!)

(chorus)
oh, this you gotta know
this you gotta know
it’s a f+ckin’ psa

i’m acid clooney
and if you knew me
you’d know i got a problem with the tap, yo
huh
ground water is toxic
so take my advice and just filter it
you can keep that metal on a cd
and when you see me, i got it clean
and it’ll take some time, once you’re feelin’ fine
you’ll make it a point to get a britta, you betta’

- the finer points lyrics

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