the zach and the jess – i did this to myself lyrics
yo, i’m my own worst enemy
everything bad i did to me
[zach]
11 am and i feel like garbage
pry my eyes open to survey the carnage
last night is fully coming back to me now
i think i drank from the fishbowl and ordered a clown
the counter is covered in apple fritters
i go to throw up but there’s only glitter
the root of the problem could not be clearer because
the mastermind is staring back from the mirror
[chorus – together]
because i did this to myself
wah-oh
yeah i did this to myself
wah-oh
i didn’t need the help of no one else
because i did this to myself
i did it all by myself
to myself
[jess]
what’s the worst vice?
uh, booze?
not half as addictive as the b-tton snooze
so late, but still take a half hour shower
then stop for coffee like it’s out of my power
got a big presentation did i prep? nah
open with got spoilers, brah
i love what i do but i’m my own tragic flaw
i wrote “the boss is a booger” and then hit reply all
what?
[chorus – together]
because i did this to myself
wah-oh
yeah i did this to myself
wah-oh
now i’m cleaning out my desk and shelf
because i did this to myself
i did it all by myself
to myself
[jess & zach]
spent laundry day watching meryl streep in doubt
now my undies are like pixar’s inside out
made a peanut b-tter sandwich, didn’t wash the knife
now my kitchen’s a scene from pixar’s a bug’s life
put spoiled milk in my coffee cup
now i’m over the toilet throwing pixar’s up
my house looks like the planet from pixar’s wall-e
ain’t n0body can mess with me like me
[zach & jess]
i’m on a second date
there’s magic in the air and it’s going great
i look in her eyes as we eat aged cheddar, she says
i think we’re really good together
so i throw the cheese and i smash her phone
’cause i’m more scare of love than being alone
and we both cry but i need no tips
on how to self-sabotage a relationship
[chorus – together]
because i did this to myself
wah-oh
yeah i did this to myself
wah-oh
i’m dying alone but oh well
because i did this to myself
i did it all by myself
to myself
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