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tom cardy – time to buy lyrics

[intro ++ vic zerbst]

welcome to timetobuy.com! now loading virtual agent. please allow cookies, keep your eyes on the screen and… try not to scream

[verse 1 ++ tom cardy, montaigne, jenna owen & vic zerbst]
sundrage courtyard, bifold doors
marble benchtop and timber floors
seamless indoor/outdoor flow
what does that mean? i don’t f+ckin’ know!

here’s a house with a big fat fountain
the husband and kids can go swim around in!
we’re both women and we don’t have kids
aw, thanks for the data!
transferring to china

[pre+chorus]
how about a place with a lot of front view?
this lovely home, it comes with goo!
what is goo?
it’s goo!
yeah, but who would want goo?
you want goo!

[chorus ++ tom cardy]
time to buy! it’s time to buy!
listen to me, i’m an internet guy!
inordinatе prices are the nеw norm
and real estate will always perform
i don’t say this to everyone, but
you two seem like a bit of fun
the sydney bubble will never burst
you can buy a house, but it’ll be cursed

[verse 2 ++ tom cardy, montaigne, & jenna owen]
would you like to live in a cursed house?
no!
then buy an un+cursed run down funhouse
would you like to live with a spooky clown?
no!
okay, “no” to the fairground

homes across the entire nation
but i might a little more information
give us your price range
no need to fear! oh, dear…

[verse 3 ++ tom cardy]
see this house? it’s next to a rock
you can live under that rock
see this apartment? room for two!
and both of those rooms are full of goo!

this chic house is full of potential
if you don’t consider a roof essential
quirky, cosy, renovated streams
steeped in history! i told you not to scream
[verse 4 ++ tom cardy]
what you can afford’s only gonna get worse
as your options shrink, you gotta get in first
without finance, it’s all mediocre
that’s why you’ll need a mortgage broker!

[spoken interlude ++ tom cardy & montaigne]
and this is the best broker around ++ “investher: home loans for bad b+tches”, raow!
wow, i like her! have you met her before?
i’ve not met anyone, i’m a video on the internet
what?
aah++!

[chorus++ tom cardy, montaigne, & jenna owen]
time to buy! it’s time to buy!
if you don’t buy right now, you will die
i’m not here to sell, i’m here to instruct
which of these boxes contains a truck?!

why do you have to ask us this stuff?
oh, just to make sure that you’re not a robot
are you a real person?
‘course i’m a real person… what the fu++

[verse 4 ++ tom cardy]
message remains: it’s time to buy!
i’m a little distracted, don’t ask why
i’ve never been an existentialist
but i may have just realized i don’t exist
buy this place with a sub+prime loan!
i just realized i’m made of code
houseboat: now that’ll give you clout
it’s okay, it’s not like i’m gonna freak out!

[chorus++ tom cardy]
time to buy! it’s time to buy!
what is reality? can i die?
nice little place in forest lodge!
i’m pretty sure that there’s no god

nothing is real, life is meaningless
buy something now or you will perish
promise me that you’ll buy something

[spoken outro ++ tom cardy, montaigne, jenna owen & vic zerbst]
we were just here to check the market out!
i just found out i don’t exist!
okay, yeah, we’ll talk to a mortgage broker and then we’ll buy something! (time to buy, it’s time to buy!)
please come back!
yeah, yeah, we’ll come back! (time to buy, it’s time to buy!)
you want some goo?!
what?
i’ll give you some goo!
no, we don’t want goo!
okay, goodbye! (time to buy, it’s time to buy!)
okay, goodbye!
and remember… (time to buy, it’s time to buy!)
what?
life is meaningless, buy something
okay, goodbye!
okay, goodbye!
time to buy, it’s time to buy!

- tom cardy lyrics

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