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toureguide – assclap lyrics

(intro: chardonnay)
i’m that cafe hitta
they got me batting fourth, hoe
i got a pack of swishers
and a baddie in michael kors, hoe
faded off that henny
yeah i’m rocking fendi
gone

(interruption: chardonnay and zetkov)
yo, stop that f-cking beat (no, no, no)
i got some sh-t to say
yo, f-ck brij singh
and your bouje -ss
acting like you’re not rich
but you’re rich as f-ck
and you’re still wearing that
same red sweatshirt (yo, chill, yo, chill)
every single godd-mn day
so shut the f-ck up
you’re really bad at smash
and you know what
f-ck mike jarmon, too (oh no, why?)
always saying ‘d-mn son’ (ayo, chill)
like d-mn son
shut the f-ck up
god (oh man)
alright, play it from the beginning

(interruption 2: justin friess)
yo yo yo
f-ck tyler luke
just play the d-mn song

(chorus 1: chardonnay)
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that, alright

(verse 1: chardonnay)
i’m that cafe hitta
they got me batting fourth, hoe
i got a pack of swishers
and a baddie in michael kors, hoe
faded off that henny
yeah i’m rocking fendi
gone off that white
yeah, gone off that betty
if you need a break
imma be cuing it
cause i k!ll it in the paint
call me patrick ewing, b-tch
man, i’m cold as sh-t
i’m getting ahead of myself
i’m straight f-cking with this
i should give head to myself (huh?)
pause
hold the applause
a-1 sauce, filet mingon
don’t forget to floss
after you down on my jawns, hoe
i ain’t a b-tch with these clowns, boy
i ain’t a b-tch with these sounds, boy
clown in my face
he gonna get beat down, boy
catch these f-cking rounds, boy
i ain’t f-ck around, boy
you never heard of me?
you better check that soundcloud, boy
i’m k!lling these verses
you better call the nurses
and then when they f-cking dead
you better throw them in the he-rs-s
then do it in this order:
bring them to the coroner
throw them in the dumpster right
behind the corner store
27 shots, shooting
down the avenue
27 shots, girl show me
what you can do
bath bomb, vagabond
and scented candles
roll over, then i f-ck her
in some gucci sandals

(bridge: chardonnay)
clap, clap, clap, clap
clap, clap, clap, clap

(hook: chardonnay)
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
x2

(verse 2: cafe)
i got a girl topping me
and i’m wearing sauconies
matching with the soccer tee
while i’m reading socrates
and i’m drinking sunny d
while i’m eating micky d’s
pepsi and a 10 piece
while i’m at yosemite

(verse 2: chardonnay)
they call me chardonnay
pulling aks, drinking alazae
bobby flay, master chef
summer day, sun dress
double breast, on her chest
staying lit, pumpkin fest
khaled snap, we the best
keys keys, chevy trax

(bridge: cafe)
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
i’m in a maybach
boolin’ on my snapchat
reading cat in the hat
sh-t, i might f-cking rap that

(verse 3: chardonnay)
the sun did not shine
it was too wet to play
so we sat in the house
and she sat on my face
i sat there with sally
we sat there, we two
and i said
“uh, i wish to be f-cking you”
too wet to go out
and too cold to play ball
so we sat in the house
and i unhooked her bra
so all we could do was
sit, sit, sit, sit
the next thing i knew
she was bouncing on my d-ck

(hook: cafe and chardonnay)
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap
make that -ss clap
make that -ss clap, clap

(outro: justin friess and tyler luke)
there is no fun
this whole song is fun
the song is called “-ssclap”
the f-cking album cover is a snapchat

- toureguide lyrics

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