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uncle bonsai – takin’ the kids to disney world lyrics

if i see another smile
i would lose my self restraint
if i walk another mile
that would surely make me faint
there are people out there screaming
tugging on a sleeve all afternoon
why is everybody screaming
can’t they think of something else to do

we were out there on the freeway
and we thought that we’d try something new
give the kids a little leeway
thinking that they might enjoy the view
why are children always nauseous
why do siblings always start a fight
nothing worse than being nauseous
could it be another form of spit

we took all our savings
and we’ll take lots of slides
we followed our cravings
as we swallowed our pride
we’re taking the kids
taking the kids
taking the kids to disney world
we’d been on the road for hours
thinking that we’d love to turn around
’cause the weather looks like showers
what time to be orlando bound
and the kids were getting restless
which, of course, had put us in a funk
why are children always restless
maybe we could put them in the trunk

we stocked up on patience
and we locked up our pets
we turned to the faces
that we yearned to forget
we’re taking the kids
taking the kids
taking the kids to disney world

maybe we shouldn’t be picky
waiting around for mickey
probably off having a quickie
(mickey and minnie are mouses in l+st)
everyone knows that he’s tricky
probably slipped her a mickey
wearing white gloves ’cause he’s sl!ck
he’s strictly a mouse that you never could trust
but mickey mouse isn’t so meek
he’s on the front page of the weeklies
hanging around with some sheik
he’s less than a man but
he’s more than cartoon
he handles the folks so uniquely
no one gets more than a peek
see everything’s clean and squeaky
at the riki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room

we were terrorized this morning
riding it’s a small world after all
and there should have been a warning
parents must have lots of alcohol
there’s a woman in a rat suit
tell me does she ever get a breath
always stuck inside a rat suit
scaring all the children half to death

we battled the tollway
while they straddled our laps
we scolded the whole way
as we folded our maps
we’re taking the kids
we’re taking the kids
we’re taking the kids to disney world
as the sun was slowly sinkin’
we were clearly ready for the end
still we liked the talkin’ lincoln
but not enough to ever go again
everybody bought the mouse ears
even though we tried to play it smart
nothing cuter than the mouse ears
we wear them like the travelers’ purple heart

we’re taking the kids, taking the kids
taking the kids to disney world

- uncle bonsai lyrics

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