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vans rat - tree lyrics

[intro: chronic]
f+ck this depression sh+t man

[verse 1: chronic]
uh
before i grip the pen i grip the razor
i was thinking “f+ck the rap sh+t, i’ll do it f+ckin’ later
and all i wanna hear is “sorry xavier”
i’m worried, need a savior
doc saying “take the meds, they’ll save ya”
but i don’t wanna take em, marijuana that i’m toking
sorry ma, your son is f+ckin’ broken
depression gone and broke in and broke him
the life i’ve chose ain’t helping
i’m h+ll bent on self+destruction
i’ve been feeling like i’m nothing, it started as a youngin’
i wrote my first suicide note at nine, next year i tried two times
it was silly sh+t like tryna drown myself and neck
shaking from no breakfast, i can’t eat, i can’t sleep
and no one’s understanding me
i dissapoint the family, i’m smoking weed, i’m tryna be free
just dig a bigger f+ckin’ hole, everything’s a trigger
i don’t know if i can cope, tryna k!ll my liver
tryna tie another rope, i think i’ve lost all hope
and i’m really sorry, i know you’ve worried and so have i
barely survived, i’m scr+ping by (brrrt)
[verse 2: vans rat]
i seem to hate myself, inside i’m [?]
they say i need some help, i said i’ve found it
no bottle can seem to cure, my emotional damage
you know it breaks my heart, that you planned it
torn apart, falling to bits, i remember sitting on the tramp as kids
seeing all the photos from years ago, family so close i would call you bro
now things have changed so much, now tears will fall with love
now days keep piling up, won’t let go, i’m not giving up on you

[chorus: vans rat]
that tree, conor’s tree
now fills a part of me
it sits in rain and shine
it holds a piece of time
your life is part of ours
and know we love you
i wish i could go back
so i could hug you

[outro: vans rat]
just know i love you
and i miss you
i just love you
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