vera johnson – the do-it-yourself divorce lyrics
do+it+yourself is all the rage
this is the hobby merchant’s age
learn how to crochet or sew or knit
or brew your own beer with a special kit
make leather purses, try painting or weaving
or building bookshelves in the wall
or if you want something a bit more exciting
here is the best of them all
the do+it+yourself divorce
you have to be married, of course
you study petitions, then draw up your own
you don’t need a lawyer, you do it alone
you handle the case in court
it’s really an elegant sport
and thirty+six dollars is all that it costs
the do+it+yourself divorce
the do+it+yourself divorce
you have to be married, of course
you study petitions, then draw up your own
you don’t need a lawyer, you do it alone
you handle the case in court
it’s really an elegant sport
and thirty+six dollars is all that it costs
the do+it+yourself divorce
not long ago there had to be
evidence of adultery
special detectives who’d lurk and hide
waiting the moment to break inside
judges were always alert for collusion
and lawyers charged monstrous fees
but now that the state has withdrawn from our bedrooms
you can be free as the breeze
the do+it+yourself divorce
you have to be married, of course
you study petitions, then draw up your own
you don’t need a lawyer, you do it alone
you handle the case in court
it’s really an elegant sport
and thirty+six dollars is all that it costs
the do+it+yourself divorce
you will enjoy your day in court
telling the judge you need support
giving details of your erring spouse
making it clear why he’s such a louse
then when it’s over there’s three months of waiting
before you can get your decree
the waiting time gives you a chance to consider
just who the next one will be
the do+it+yourself divorce
you have to be married, of course
you study petitions, then draw up your own
you don’t need a lawyer, you do it alone
you handle the case in court
it’s really an elegant sport
and thirty+six dollars is all that it costs
the do+it+yourself divorce
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