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wildcard – bonus: self portrait (feat. suhanna hamilton) lyrics

[verse 1: wildcard]
stay calm
what the f+ck you mean stay calm?
this man has got my blood running hotter than napalm
my grandfather told me state of my fire
but my childhood was like i was stuck in radio fly
and i ain’t f+cking with you
it’s time to say your goodbyes
my soul has seen the pitch black like when a atheist dies
used to tip+toe around the house to bring one poem
like hide the flier in the shed before the king comes home
it’s on
i’m trynna build a house of cards in side a cyclone
and can’t you hear me calling baby screaming “is this mic on”?
i’m just like my father trynna find a girl to ride on
but almost every girl i meet, their hair is made of pythons
like have you ever seen your pops smoking methamphetamine in front of you like everything is everything a steady thing?
sprinkle cocaine on tightened blunts stuffed with evergreen
i’m vowing that’ll come to a close once my machete swings
i know my mother wished for better things
than to see her son follow his fathers footsteps under the devils strings
had an excuse when i was seventeen
but now it’s like “get up you fallen angel, motherf+cker time to spread your wings”
my fathers pipe was the lullaby light
and now i grew up and flipped flows like b+tterfly knifes
my verses are like virgins, b+tches say i bust too quick
my life’s been nutty as a motherf+cking mushroom trip
come on lets go
[chorus: wildcard]
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more

[verse 2: dead poet]
yo it’s the same song
mom’s singing along
she’s getting sick and tired of cops bringing me home
she couldn’t comprehend how i went from honor rolls to a ornery little f+cker smoking marijuana bowls
i’m thirteen years old and i’m already on parole
got a f+cked up point of view and i can’t seem to let it go
by fourteen i’m pulling l!cks and running from the coppers
next day at school i’m putting f+cking guns up in my lockers
principle talk about teacher+parent conference
so they can +n+lyze me with each other sharing nonsense
detention, suspension, expulsion, propulsion
by this time i’m no+one that the system is bullsh+tting
all i really wanna do is make some live records
but i can’t seem to put the weed down for five seconds
i’m a north+side soldier with a chip up on my shoulder
and the only time that i might flip or trip is if i’m sober
and those who think they know me don’t really know me at all
they only homie who ever know me put his brains against the wall
the soul of a rotten lonely only begotten
staid locked in a box and got slowly forgotten
i’m grinding my gears, suicidal crying tears
losing my f+cking mind cause i keep doing lines off mirrors
i’m headed back to prison shackled on this chain bus
can’t wait to get a blade so i can make my veins gush
i’m living like a bum, broke and hope a dollar come
surround myself with pill+heads and alcoholic scum
i wonder if you wish you would’ve kept the honest one
always and forever, it’s your broken+promised son
[chorus: wildcard]
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more

[verse 3: wildcard]
yo
if my parents wouldn’t have done so much coke in the eighties
then there might’ve been a little bit more hope for they baby
but who am i to say these things about the people that raised me
they did they very best, i guess, but the tweak made ’em crazy
sleepers for days
even paranoid, deceitful and lazy
walking ’round the house not knowing if they cheating but maybe
addiction moving like a brush+fire roaring at the hills
coming faster than wh0res searching for morning after+pills
i was bad when i was younger
but at least that i would hope that i did everything i could try and sew my wild oaths
yo and i can’t blame my parents
they were just a couple kids
who fell in love around the time when nasal drugs were getting big
but i forgive you, at least i’m trying my hardest
and luckily i didn’t f+cking die in the garbage
and thank you for all the struggles and the fights and fists
cause if it wasn’t for that, i couldn’t write all this
come on
[chorus: wilcard]
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more
every time i wake up i think about dying just so i won’t have to lie awake and think of you crying
bound for disaster when i’m coming through the door
vowing that no+one’ll ever make you cry no more

[outro: suhanna hamilton]
i’m so sorry
sorry
so sorry
sorry
so sorry
sorry
so sorry
sorry
please forgive me

- wildcard lyrics

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