ynkeumalice – money (skit) lyrics
(skit opens on a busy city street corner. the devil is standing with a suitcase covered in advertis+m+nts, wearing a suit and tie, and carrying a sign that reads “free money! sell your soul today!”)
devil: (yelling) free money! sell your soul and get rich quick! who wants to make a deal?
(people on the street look at him skeptically and walk past without stopping)
devil: (to himself) come on, it worked in the old days. what am i doing wrong?
(an unsuspecting person finally approaches)
person: excuse me, what are you selling?
devil: ah, my good friend! i’m offering you thе chance of a lifetime. free monеy! all you have to do is sign this contract and sell me your soul
person: my soul?
devil: yes, just put your john hanc+ck right here and you’ll be rolling in riches before you know it!
(person starts to sign the contract)
devil: (smiling deviously) excellent. another soul for the collection
(suddenly, a pen drops out of the devil’s pocket onto the ground)
person: hey, you dropped your pen
devil: (frantically searching for another pen) no! wait! don’t pick that up!
person: why not?
devil: (panicking) because that pen is…uh… cursed! yes, cursed!
person: cursed?
devil: yes! it’s the pen of eternal d+mnation! anyone who touches it is immediately struck down by a terrible fate!
person: really?
devil: (nodding furiously) yes, really! now get away from that pen before it’s too late!
(person quickly walks away. the devil picks up the pen and looks at it skeptically)
devil: (muttering to himself) curse my absent+mindedness. that was the last pen in my pocket. i really need to start carrying a spare
(the devil picks up his suitcase and stands on the street corner again, sighing)
devil: (to the audience) well, i guess it’s back to the drawing board for me. but mark my
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