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brian posehn – one quarter viking, three quarter’s pussy lyrics

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long swords, viking ships
endless battles and tales of yore
my nordic ancestors
had battle axes and looked like thor

never swung a sword
or a battle axe in my life
but i sure as h+ll
have gotten a mani+pedi with my wife

i’m a mess
my nordic folks would k!ll me
because i might be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy

these sons of odin
fought bears and f+cking conquered sh+t

i’m fat and if i held a sword
i’d probably stab my tits

i’d be so raped
and pillaged in my viking village
if i was chased
i’d get caught and blood would spillage
i have pot tits
amon amarth would hate me
because i ma be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy

i’m a fat sh+t
my grandma would hate me
because i might be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy

on a viking longship
i wouldn’t last an hour
any word of battle
i’d sh+t my pants and cower

i’m a mess
my nordic folks would hate me
because i may be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy

i’m so f+cked
my nordic folks would k!ll me
because i may be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy

i’m a fat sh+t
my grandma would hate me
because i might be
one quarter viking, three quarters p+ssy