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feldup – fluoxetine (dayaday) lyrics

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[verse 1]
screaming high-sounding precepts
of whatever letter we intercept
when the words have no meaning
when they are thrown nowhere
people hear words but they are not listening
i don’t give a sh-t about what’s happening
but the world is shaking
i’m shaking to death
and deaf dumb and blind i call you by your name
nothing will ever be the same again
what if all of this comes to an end
what if all of this comes to an end
hey mother, i’m going back to the elevator
every morning i’m pulled back to earth
hey mother, i’m stuck like i’ve never been before
i can’t hold it back anymore
will i make it to the end ?
aimless to h-ll, aimless
to h-ll, i’m going
to h-ll, i’m going to h-ll
to h-ll, oh
dear emptiness
i’ve got a letter for you
i was begging you to come back home
after all that bad romance
now there are only regrets
in this ever growing nonsense
i want to go back
to a place where i had a meaning
when you were not frightening
when there were no distances
sentences ringing through my head
always the same, always the same
and in the morning with my medication
i was trying to erase all the emotions
we can still try to reach a state of stability
but i’ll always feel empty and emptied
my pockets are now full of regrets
and every song, every confession i make
is another object
i threw in the lake
i’m looking for a place
where i could empty them
and not keep on living
like a sheep poisoned with hatred
stay
stay
please, stay
i miss what i was

[chorus 1]
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?

[hook 1]
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
miss you

[verse 2]
do you remember your face
when you first took your pills
you were looking afraid
afraid of the world
you looked at yourself in the mirror
those dark rings under your tired eyes
they were begging for help
you were afraid
you thought every pill you would take
would take a part of your brain
and you’d slowly stop to write
and you’d slowly start to cry

[hook 2]
a pill every day
runnin out in twelve days
they slowly disappear
running out sooner

[verse 3]
i remember this one night
when i ran out of medication
and my brother tried
to help me calm down a bit
antidepressants
not antisadness
sadness never was a problem
apathy k!lled me and i never noticed it
trains, cars, the subway
and sleep, and eat
and sleep, and eat
and eat, and eat

[verse 4]
soon? i need something now
tired of the laziness
tired of telling myself
tomorrow will be the time
tomorrow will never be there
because i can’t tell you
if you’ll spend tomorrow with me
trying to make sens of that mess
trying to tell you i’m okay
smiling hurts me hard
smiling hurts me hard
i don’t want to wake up
on my own
lullabies
sing me lullabies
i’m listening to you
to find a meaning
i’m only daydreaming
wishing i weren’t drugged
wishing i had no grave
in the hole i dug

[verse 5]
and i’m here, i reached the bottom of the hole
bl–dy paint, all over the wall
digging my grave all alone
in the river, i can not hear you at all
at all
at all
at all
i have no arms
that could reach yours
incoherently spitting m-ffled words
wishing i had a place in the universe
the sounds bounce on the walls
the sounds bounce on the walls
you did a great job, felix
you did a great job, felix
it will work
it will work
just wait a little more
just wait a little more

[chorus 2]
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more
just wait a little more

[verse 6]
the years fly faster than the weeks
every hour feels like a torture
i’m still drawn to you
i hope you’re too
i love you
you were someone else
and now i’m no one
and now i’m n-body
and i blame it all on me
because i have n-body else to hate
sometimes scapegoats
can get you away from mediocrity
felix ! what happened to your eyes ?
felix ! what happened to your pen ?
why are you writing a song
that doesn’t make any sense

[hook 3]
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?
felix ! what have you become ?

[verse 7]
you have to go back home
if you want to survive
you have to go back home
if you want to be alive
i now count all my suicide attempts
like they were just little anecdotes
like they were an antidote
but it’s nothing more than a slip knot
when you fall
when you fell
and you realized
you failed
oh, i failed, i failed
i failed, i failed
i love you
i love you
and i don’t want you to die
and you’re going to die
because n-body can control you
you’re lost my friend
and the maze you’re stuck in
never seems to end
and fluoxetine kept me awake
when i needed to sleep
that’s why they gave it in the first place
let’s sweep all the dust on the gears
let’s get rid of the grime in our tears
and take the pills
it will turn on the engine
it will turn on the engine
it will turn on the engine
it will turn on the engine
it will turn on the engine

[verse 8]
i love you
what have you become ?
what have you become ?
come back home
come back home
i’m so terribly sorry for everything

[outro]
i wanna go home