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johnny socko - if i didn't have a goiter lyrics

[verse 1]
so you come up to me at the end of the night
i stay in profile and keep out of the light
i’d like to meet your gaze and face you straight on
but there’s something in my features that’s very very wrong

[pre+chorus 1]
if i seem a tad evasive, or preoccupied
i’ll put it to you straight, i’d be in trouble if i lied
any chance of further congress will prob’ly be wrecked
but i’ll tell you the truth, and darn me to heck
there’s a lump like a casaba melon stuck on my neck

[chorus]
if i didn’t have a goiter, i’d ask you out
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t wear these turtlenecks
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t be quite so vexed
if i didn’t have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

[verse 2]
you got the beer goggles and you’re not walking right
but you’d have to be blind not to notice this sight
i lay on my side whenever i go to bed
cause this growth is like havin’ me a second head

[pre+chorus 2]
the people point and stare whenever i ride the bus
at my glandular piñata that is chock full of pus
in just a couple minutes you’ll find out and be gone
guess i’ll never get a chance to make a special bond
cause my thyroid seats 4 and there’s room for carry+on
[chorus]
if i didn’t have a goiter, i’d ask you out
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t wear these turtlenecks
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t be so vexed
if i didn’t have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

[pre+chorus 3]
you’ve seen my defect but you’re still hangin’ round
and suddenly my chances are goin’ up instead of down
i got this feeling you and i are sharing the night
and the reason i know everything will be alright
is cause now i see you got the elephantitis

[chorus]
if i didn’t have a goiter, i’d ask you out
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t wear these turtlenecks
if i didn’t have a goiter, i might not be so vexed
if i didn’t have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter
if i didn’t have a goiter, i’d ask you out
if i didn’t have a goiter, i wouldn’t wear these turtlenecks
if i didn’t have a goiter, i might not be so vexed
if i didn’t have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

- johnny socko lyrics

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